Chapter 32

Yu Wan just held up her hand like that to show it to her, exposing only her wrist, yet it felt excessively intimate.

From the moment she heard the word “couple,” Fang Nianchen’s mind went completely blank. She stared dumbly at Yu Wan, no longer feeling embarrassed at all.

After a few seconds of silence, she let out a dry laugh.

Hollow and feeble.

Yu Wan curved her lips too. “What are you laughing at?”

She didn’t speak again, just kept smiling—an obvious attempt to dodge.

The same words said to different people would elicit different responses, but Fang Nianchen’s reaction left her utterly puzzled.

Was she indifferent to the topic, or too concerned to know how to respond?

Yu Wan could admit generously that she’d been wearing this hair tie for days, yet Fang Nianchen had never once asked about it. Was she pretending not to see it, or just too shy to mention it?

Sometimes, Yu Wan felt that a hair tie was just that—cheap and commonplace. Even if lost, one might not even notice.

But the more ordinary the item, the easier it was to imbue it with extra meaning.

The extended use of hair ties had been widely known back in her school days. Xiao Ning’an used them that way too, but it had nothing to do with her. She said it on purpose, just to see Fang Nianchen’s reaction.

Of course, not just this once.

When facing someone you like, how could there be no selfish motives?

She could blurt out her true feelings to Fang Nianchen without thinking, or embellish them a bit to tease her into blushing. She took great pleasure in it.

Yu Wan confirmed with her once more. “So, you don’t mind if I keep wearing it?”

“It’s nothing…” She’d laughed twice just to skip the topic, but being pressed like this, Fang Nianchen couldn’t laugh anymore. “Everyone won’t be that sensitive.”

Everyone? Yu Wan suddenly felt something off.

The question was aimed at a specific person, yet she’d dragged in irrelevant others.

This person’s skill at brushing things off was improving, and she wasn’t stammering and blushing in evasion like before. Not cute at all.

Yu Wan hadn’t sat here for so long out of boredom; she wanted to hear something different. With people leaving soon, she’d thought there might be some sweet words.

But the response was just like that night—”You’re not my friend.” So, the temper she’d held back then welled up again, stuffy in her chest.

Yu Wan sighed silently. “Fine.”

Fine what? Fang Nianchen was baffled.

Yu Wan quietly slipped the hair tie off her wrist and dangled it by one edge toward her. “Here, returning it to you. I don’t usually tie my hair, so no use keeping it.”

She wasn’t happy, so her tone came out stiff.

Fang Nianchen looked up at her sharply, her expression full of reluctance. But what she said was all true.

Seeing her not take it, Yu Wan made a puzzled “Hm?”

“Oh…” Fang Nianchen was reluctant, her brows drooping as she extended her palm to accept it.

“Lunch break’s almost over.” Yu Wan stood, grabbing her coat, not forgetting to urge her. “Let’s go?”

With Shen Yi there earlier, she didn’t want to discuss work, and chatting about other things would seem overly intimate. The director position meant too much—if it got out that she and Fang Nianchen had known each other from the start, the rumors would be unimaginable.

She didn’t know why Fang Nianchen hadn’t left after eating, but wanting to say a few words, she’d stayed too.

She’d stayed with strong intentions, yet heard nothing she wanted. Utterly disappointed.

Fang Nianchen looked at the retrieved hair tie, her eyes downcast in dejection.

She’d clearly wanted Yu Wan to keep it.

But her words… were really hard to respond to.

Looking up again, Yu Wan was already walking away. She hurried after her like a tail-wagging puppy. In the elevator, naturally, no words were exchanged—silent as a vacuum.

Back at HR, she ran into other colleagues greeting Yu Wan. Fang Nianchen could only pretend to be passing by casually, not even getting a chance to say goodbye.

Not two steps later, that bothersome hair tie came to mind again.

Held by her, it looked dull and lifeless.

Not special at all. Fang Nianchen thought with regret.

Her mind full of dissatisfaction over the hair tie’s ownership, she didn’t even hear Shen Yi call her when passing her workstation.

Only when Shen Yi reached out to stop her did she halt. “What’s up?”

Fang Nianchen thought Shen Yi was really odd—from childhood to now, she’d never met anyone more self-familiar. Logically, being so introverted, developing this personality must’ve been tough.

“During lunch earlier, President Yu kept looking at you.” Shen Yi suddenly dropped this out of nowhere.

“Oh.” Fang Nianchen hadn’t listened closely, nodding at first. Seeing her hand move away, she walked on.

She had no mood to deal with others right now. The biggest issue was that she felt President Yu was angry.

But why was Yu Wan angry?

Feeling stuffy from sitting, Fang Nianchen propped her hands on the desk and stood for a bit.

Her workstation was advantageously located by the window, with a clear view of the manager and director offices diagonally across, shielded by a not-too-short partition—no feeling of being watched by superiors.

Yet she felt inexplicably restless, all because of a hair tie. She thought herself overly sensitive.

This mood persisted until the end of the workday.

Unusually few people were staying late today. Once most had left, Qiao Yan leaned on the partition. “You’re transferring departments?”

Fang Nianchen recalled that before Yu Wan arrived, Qiao Yan had stood the same way, gossiping with her about how hot the new HR director was.

Back then, she’d been disdainful, certain the new director would be annoying.

Fang Nianchen stretched lazily while seated, acting casual. “Who’d you hear that from?”

“Dog Zuo transferred me to your group today, saying you’re short-staffed. I asked and found out you’re leaving.” With Fang Nianchen’s hand raised high, Qiao Yan smacked it down. “Ungrateful wolf, leaving without telling me in advance. Am I even your friend?”

Smacked, Fang Nianchen retracted her hand and sat properly, looking obedient. “Didn’t get the chance to tell you.”

Qiao Yan rolled her eyes at her. “You were definitely thinking: ‘If I tell her, she’ll ask a ton of questions—such a hassle.'”

She even mimicked her frowning face.

Easily seen through, Fang Nianchen could only laugh awkwardly. “Heh heh…”

“Heh your head.” Qiao Yan saw her unmoved and jabbed her forehead with a finger, grinding her teeth. “I’m so, very, disappointed in you.”

Why did everyone like poking heads? Fang Nianchen grumbled inwardly, covering her forehead, wondering if she’d learned it from Tao Zhixing. But Qiao Yan’s tone was serious, not joking, so she got serious too.

“You’re always like this. Off to Qingyuan without a word, going abroad, now switching departments—you like hiding everything from people. I’ve finally figured it out: your prickliness is only strong against people you know. The nicer others are to you, the more you hurt them.” Qiao Yan looked down at her, expression hurt. “I thought we were close, so whether this involves me or I can help doesn’t matter. Learning about your decision from someone else makes me feel untrusted.”

“That feeling…” Qiao Yan’s face grew solemn. “Really sucks.”

“Sorry.” Fang Nianchen hadn’t expected her to care so much and apologized sincerely.

“I’m not just wanting to hear ‘sorry.'” Qiao Yan sighed. “And you know I wouldn’t stop you anyway. Are you that afraid of sharing with people? What’s the big deal in telling me?”

They’d seen Fang Nianchen’s ruthless decisiveness back in high school—those who approached her with ulterior motives got coldly shut down.

She and Tao Zhixing didn’t know what luck they’d had; maybe their thick skin. Boldly sticking around and copying homework a few times, they’d gotten familiar.

Even now, Fang Nianchen’s attitude toward them was only relatively better.

Not just surface politeness—her changes had scared them at times.

It was knowing she had a favorite “senior,” that she could develop feelings for someone, which made Fang Nianchen feel more real to them.

At least back in college, it was like that.

“And you’re always hot and cold, giving people whiplash. Everything depends on your mood—even if you know what others want to hear, you deliberately don’t say it.”

Selfish.

Not a flattering word, but the only one that fit Fang Nianchen now.

Qiao Yan was a bit emotional today, spilling a bunch of her heart to Fang Nianchen, yet the knot inside grew tighter. She comforted her after. “Don’t feel pressured. I just… wanted to talk to you about it.”

Fang Nianchen nodded at her. “I know.”

Qiao Yan chuckled. “So this time you know again…”

She felt utterly helpless.

Even if she’d felt upset before, she and Fang Nianchen had never openly talked about it. This was the first time, and the atmosphere was so serious it turned awkward.

Suddenly not knowing how to wrap things up, Qiao Yan could only say, “Then I’ll head out first. You should go home early too.”

“Be safe on the road.” Fang Nianchen smiled at her.

Qiao Yan nodded, waved, and left.

After Qiao Yan departed, the office fell completely quiet. Fang Nianchen stared out the window, lost in a daze for a good while.

She had never considered this issue before.

But indeed, she always thought about things from her own perspective, ensuring she had a way out at every moment. On this point, she was flawless.

—

The usually carefree person had suddenly opened up her heart to discuss things with her.

The aftershocks were so strong that even when she met up with Yin Chi and had dinner together, Fang Nianchen was still mulling it over.

Miss Yin’s dinner choice was more down-to-earth today—they ate at a street-side stall and even ordered two mugs of draft beer.

Before the food arrived, Yin Chi stared at her face. “Is that scar on your left side or right? Why can’t I see it anymore?”

Fang Nianchen’s train of thought was interrupted. Damn, dragging out stuff from donkey years ago. She casually replied, “Right side.”

“Let me see?”

Fang Nianchen took a deep breath, patiently brushed aside the stray hairs covering it, and showed her.

Right along the hairline on the right side of her forehead was a three-centimeter scar. When it was fresh, the wound had been much bigger. Over time, it had faded so much that you had to get close to notice it.

Yin Chi leaned in, confirmed it was there, and sighed in relief. “Youth really is wonderful.”

Seeing Fang Nianchen’s displeased expression, Yin Chi laughed. “Though saying that might not be appropriate. Your injury is somewhat related to me too.”

The server brought the dishes, and Yin Chi sat back properly. Even ravenous, she ate gracefully, not getting a single stain on her white shirt.

Fang Nianchen drank a third of the beer in her mug, staring blankly at the hair tie on her wrist.

She suddenly spoke up. “Am I really that unlikeable?”

“Hm? Who said that?” Yin Chi set down her glass. “Only a little bit.”

For the first time, Fang Nianchen didn’t laugh at Yin Chi’s hellish sense of humor. She continued, “I always refuse to tell the truth to people who care about me. I can clearly see what they want, know what kind of answer they’re hoping for, but I just won’t say it. So I end up disappointing them a lot.”

Yin Chi nodded in deep appreciation. “So who told you that?”

“A friend.” Fang Nianchen thought for a moment. “She said some of it, and I figured out the rest myself.”

“Rare indeed… You’ve finally grown up.” Yin Chi put on an elder’s air, nodding contentedly. “Here, let Sis pat your head.”

Yin Chi reached for her head, but Fang Nianchen jerked back sharply, leaning against the chairback and glaring fiercely at the hand hovering in midair.

Fierce as could be.

The way she was acting was just like a puppy.

When angry, she wouldn’t speak—just bare her sharp white teeth, wrinkle her nose, and strike an attacking pose.

Yin Chi got it. Fang Nianchen putting on this posture meant she was baring her teeth at her.

Teasing her now might get her bitten, and she had no interest in rabies shots.

Yin Chi eased back and withdrew her hand. “Haven’t you noticed? You’re actually an exquisite egoist. You always prioritize the outcome in everything you do. Once you sense a bad result coming, you won’t even start it.”

Exquisite egoist.

Hearing this evaluation for the first time, Fang Nianchen was noncommittal.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you.” Yin Chi never missed a chance to lecture Fang Nianchen. Tormenting this little pup was her only pleasure after realizing her own feelings had turned into empty fireworks.

“Back then, when you heard your senior was dating a boyfriend, you immediately cut off contact with her, right?”

“Pretty much.”

“I always found it strange—how did you know she had a boyfriend? Did she tell you herself?”

Fang Nianchen recalled. “Around that time, everyone at school was talking about it. She was with a senior a bit older than her.”

“Just rumors, and you didn’t even ask the person involved before getting scared and cutting ties. It’s not about being timid—it’s that after weighing the pros and cons, you figured chasing someone who ‘might’ have a boyfriend wasn’t worth the cost, right?” Yin Chi’s question hit the nail on the head.

“But everyone was saying it, and Senior never came out to deny it.”

“Ever heard of information asymmetry?” Yin Chi looked exasperated. “If someone had a crush on you, would you know right away? If I put out a newspaper tomorrow announcing worldwide that you and I got married, how long do you think it’d take you to hear?”

The truth was way more complicated than Yin Chi described, but it was so long ago there was no point dredging it up.

Fang Nianchen didn’t mind if she misunderstood her. She picked up her glass and took a sip.

Yin Chi picked out the chilies from the stir-fried sea snails one by one. “That’s why I say your crush on her is a regret. You regret not confessing back then—not that you loved her to death. Staying chaste for her? It’s because you think even if she doesn’t like you back, your devotion puts you miles above her. You’ll always have ways to make her feel guilty toward you.”

Yin Chi recalled that night’s scene—Yu Wan completely pinned down by that idiot Chen Yuyang, clearly a softie. “Though I’ve only met that Miss Yu once, odds are she’d fall right into your trap.”

Fang Nianchen stayed silent, not even glancing at her.

Yin Chi teased, “Feeling like I hit the mark? Fang the top student.”

Fang Nianchen shifted her posture, propping her chin and looking up straight at her. “Not at all.”

“Then let me put it more bluntly.” Yin Chi smiled meaningfully.

Fang Nianchen had no idea what riddle she was playing at. “Go ahead.”

“Same as before—no matter if Miss Yu likes you or not, you really enjoy the thrill of a secret crush. It feels balanced and fun. But the moment someone disrupts that balance, you lose interest.”

“If she confessed to you? The outcome would be even worse.” Yin Chi sneered. “You’d realize you’d hit the jackpot, but scared of losing it later, you’d pull out immediately.”

With that, Yin Chi dumped the chilies back in and tapped her chopsticks on the plate rim. “Isn’t that exactly how you treat me?”