Chapter 3: Mistakes of a Past Life

Today was the Qixi Festival…

The Qin Manor was decorated with exquisite glazed lanterns and red silk ribbons. Night had already fallen, yet the entire estate glowed bright with lamplight.

Qin Youning stood in her courtyard, quietly gazing up at the bright moon hanging in the sky, listening to the distant sounds of laughter.

The Qin Family did not seclude itself from the world. Their manor sat right along the main street of Bianjing, and drifting in faintly from beyond its walls was a joy that had become rare in these troubled times.

She had always preferred quiet, so whether maids or servants, everyone around her spoke in hushed tones and walked without a sound.

In years past, the Qixi Festival had nothing to do with her. By this hour she would have already washed up and shut herself in her room, a scroll in hand, reading quietly.

But today, contrary to all her habits, she stood in the courtyard admiring the moon. She told herself she was simply enjoying the night view, yet what surfaced in her mind was the face of someone who had not appeared for several days.

A light breeze swept past, and the air carried a slight chill.

Qin Youning lowered her eyes and raised a hand to touch the Mandarin Duck Jade pendant hanging at her neck. Gathering her wide sleeves, she turned to head back inside.

A faint rustle sounded behind her.

“A-Ning!” Someone called her name in a lowered voice from behind.

Qin Youning paused, then turned. Sure enough, she saw that person’s smiling face, every bit as radiant as the moon above.

Her chilled limbs were gradually blanketed in warmth, and the emptiness in her heart filled with a heat that left her at a loss.

She stood where she was, looking up at the woman perched on the wall, gazing down at her. For an instant, her mind went completely blank. What even she herself hadn’t noticed… was that beneath the dark hatred in her eyes, a trace of obsessive fascination had taken root.

She wanted to have her…

To keep her caged…

“…Why are you here?” Her throat moved as she forced out a dry voice.

Qi Yunchu leapt down with a light laugh and held out her hand to her.

“It’s the Qixi Festival tonight. I came to invite you to see the lanterns and the fireworks.”

She narrowed her eyes with a smile and added, “Just the two of us.”

So that was why she’d climbed over the wall in the middle of the night?

Qin Youning looked at her, and a trace of gentle warmth unexpectedly softened her gaze. The joy leaping in her chest overwhelmed the bitterness.

It coaxed her into nodding.

“Pardon me for this,” the other said, stepping close and murmuring at her ear, her breath soft and warm, laced with a faint fragrance. Qin Youning shifted her head away in discomfort, only to let out a startled gasp the very next moment without meaning to.

The woman had picked her up.

Her head came to rest against something soft…

Qin Youning flushed crimson in an instant. A few loose strands of hair brushed across the tip of her nose, carrying a delicate scent.

She smelled so good…

Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around Qi Yunchu’s neck.

“What… are you doing?” Her voice wavered.

What am I doing?

Doing you, Qi Yunchu replied coldly in her own mind.

“Getting you out of here,” she said aloud, raising an eyebrow as a bold, unrestrained smile spread across her face. Cradling the woman in her arms, she leapt onto the wall, then used her qinggong to tread across the tall, dense trees, and in broad moonlight, brazenly stole away the Qin Family’s young lady.

Chaotic shouting rose up behind them.

Qi Yunchu stifled a few laughs, her brows dancing with delight.

So vivid, so free. The woman nestled in her arms stared blankly at her profile for a long while, then curled her lips into a smile of her own.

By then, colorful fireworks were blooming brilliantly across the sky. Lanterns of every kind were laid out on the roadside stalls, glowing lanterns hung strung across the streets, and along the river crowded dozens upon dozens of beautiful floating lanterns.

Men and women gathered along the streets. Many a bold soul threw handkerchiefs down from the upper floors, letting them fall into the arms of the one they loved.

Qin Youning had never stood alone in the street and truly looked upon such a scene before. Without the torment of war, hope for life itself shimmered in these people’s eyes.

It moved her deeply.

“Shall we float a lantern?” The voice came from beside her, threaded with a smile.

Qin Youning turned to look. At some point, the woman had released her hand and gone off to buy two lanterns.

Delicate lotus lanterns in pale red, two tassels dangling beneath each, swaying gently, sending little ripples across the lake of Qin Youning’s heart.

“All right.” The corners of her lips curved faintly as she accepted one.

The stall by the river provided brushes and ink free of charge, for the convenience of the young people who came to float lanterns and make wishes.

Qi Yunchu fetched two small slips of paper and two inked brushes.

All around them, young people had come to release their lanterns, and intimate whispers lingered in the air. Qin Youning tilted her head to look at the woman beside her.

Only while the other was bent over her writing, fully absorbed, did Qin Youning allow herself to study her properly.

She wore a long robe of crimson, her hair bound in a crown, the Mandarin Duck Jade hanging at her waist. Bowed like this over the paper, she seemed calm and serene.

Qin Youning’s thoughts were wandering when she accidentally caught sight of the graceful, slender curve traced by the jade belt at the woman’s waist. Her face suddenly grew hot, and she flusteredly looked away.

She turned to her own slip of paper. Half the evening had passed, yet only two characters sat on it.

Yunchu.

Qi Yunchu.

The candlelight of the whole river was reflected in her eyes, glittering brilliantly, but brush in hand, she had no idea what to write.

Destroy her empire, let her taste the bitterness of betrayal, force her to wear an expression of utter, despairing agony…

That was the ending she had dreamed of through countless nights.

She had planned it all meticulously. She had even… already made contact with the South.

She hated Qi Yunchu. That much was beyond question.

But now, brush raised to write her wish, that was not the thought that surfaced in her mind.

She hesitated for a long while. At last, she lowered her brush and quietly finished writing her slip.

【Host, I’d guess she’s writing “kill you.”】 The System’s icy voice suddenly rang out in her mind.

Qi Yunchu’s lips curved. She carefully lowered her lotus lantern into the water before answering it:

【I’d guess not.】

【Hah? Impossible!】 The System refused to believe it.

Qi Yunchu let the cold detachment fade from her eyes, replacing it with a look of delighted joy, and lifted her gaze to glance at the woman beside her.

【Watch and see.】

She was staring shamelessly at the woman’s profile, eyes narrowed slightly, not missing how the tips of those small ears had grown redder and redder.

Qi Yunchu raised a hand and touched the corner of her own lips. Suddenly, she felt a little thirsty.

Honestly, she truly adored this side of Qin Youning: cold and aloof, untouched by the mortal world, a flower on a high peak.

Look at those eyes, so beautiful. Cool and limpid, like a tiny crescent moon hidden within them. Utterly lovely.

Her voice was clear and clean, pitched a little low, exactly the kind Qi Yunchu liked.

Her expression always carried a reserved pride, dignified and composed.

Someone like that, once she lost control, would be all the more captivating, wouldn’t she?

Her eyes would brim with tears, hazy and vulnerable.

That ever-cold face would show a look of quiet endurance.

Irresistible.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Qi Yunchu felt a twinge of regret. Why hadn’t she seized the chance in her previous life…?

A miscalculation.

“What are you looking at?” Qin Youning had noticed the scorching gaze beside her long ago. She had pressed her lips together and endured for ages, but this woman simply would not restrain herself, and now… one side of her face burned hot.

Finally, she couldn’t hold back and spoke. Unbeknownst to her, a hint of shyness had crept into her voice.

“Looking at you,” Qi Yunchu replied with a soft laugh.

She reached out and gently tucked a loose strand of Qin Youning’s hair behind her ear, a flash of fascination crossing her eyes. “A-Ning,” she murmured, “you’re so beautiful.”

So beautiful.

I want you.

Qin Youning turned her head away, deliberately ignoring the words, which only left her earlobes red enough to bleed.

“I’m going back,” she said in a low voice, lowering her eyes and refusing to look at her.

“Don’t go.” Qi Yunchu sighed and caught her wrist.

“Look up.” She breathed the words softly against Qin Youning’s ear with a stifled laugh.

A breath scented with faint fragrance drifted into her nose. Qin Youning closed her eyes and, in the end, obeyed and lifted her head.

In that very instant, fireworks blossomed across the whole city, lighting up the entire sky and drowning out the light of the stars.

Colors of every shade flickered in her eyes. Qin Youning’s eyes widened slightly as she stared at the fireworks filling the heavens, transfixed, unable to think.

“This is what I wanted to watch with you tonight.”

A warmth touched her left hand. A soft, slender hand had clasped hers tightly.

Qi Yunchu met her gaze and raised an eyebrow, the picture of ease.

“Are you happy?”

Happy?

Thump… thump… thump…

“…Yes,” she rasped out, one word at a time.

Happy.

Happy enough that her whole heart felt full… and ached.

Her heart began to pound violently, beating so fast that for once, she felt panic.

Too fast.

It was beating far too fast.

“Happy Qixi Festival.”

“…Happy Qixi Festival.”

Qin Youning stared unblinking at the way her eyes curved, at that flawless face like white jade, at those lips red without any rouge…

She could hardly look away.

You’re beautiful, she thought secretly.

In her previous life or this one, this person was beautiful. Beautiful enough to make a heart flutter.

By the time Qi Yunchu escorted her back to the Qin Manor, the night was already deep.

The household had been thrown into frantic chaos at first, but once they confirmed it was Qi Yunchu who had spirited her away, they suddenly stopped worrying.

In Old Master Qin’s words, “Two young ladies going out to see the lanterns and celebrate Qixi. What’s the harm in that?”

What harm indeed?

If you say it’s nothing, then it’s nothing.

The Qin Family Head gave a wry smile and let his worry ease. In his view, his Ning’er and the Young General clearly held feelings for each other, and going out together for the festival was hardly a scandal. And so the matter passed.

His first wife had died early, leaving behind two children. He had loved her deeply, and fearing a second wife might mistreat the children, he had never remarried all these years.

He imposed few restrictions on his two children. His younger daughter had simply always loved her quiet, and there was nothing to be done about that.

Now he watched, day by day, as light slowly kindled in his daughter’s eyes.

Perhaps Qin Youning herself hadn’t noticed it yet, but the woman who had always handled everything with calm detachment could not take her eyes off Qi Yunchu whenever they met, her whole gaze filled with her.

When Qin Youning watched Qi Yunchu vault back over the wall, she couldn’t help feeling a little helpless.

She’d wanted to say…

The whole household already knew about the two of them. There was no need to climb walls. The front gate would do just fine.

But the woman had simply moved too fast.

Qingsu hurried over to greet her, smiling. “The young lady seems very happy tonight.”

Hm?

Qin Youning’s teacup froze midway to her lips.

“Am I?” she asked softly.

“Oh yes! It’s been so long since I’ve seen the young lady this happy. Even your brows are smiling! Looks like that Young General…” Qing’e chimed in eagerly from the side, excitement coloring her tone.

“Enough!” Qingsu shot her a sharp glare and hushed her at once.

Qing’e pursed her lips and dared not say another word.

Qin Youning looked into the mirror. Sure enough, just as Qing’e had said, even her brows were tinged with a smile.

Very happy, was it?

Happy enough to be like this?

She pressed a hand lightly to her chest, closed her eyes, and calmed her racing heart before quietly washing up and retiring for the night.

But this night was different. She had a dream.

In the dream, red stretched everywhere the eye could see. Red curtains, red canopy. The double character for joy had already been pasted across her window.

Qin Youning froze. Looking down, she found herself dressed in a red gown, the kind worn only at a wedding.

What was this…

Her fingertips tightened. Her lips felt dry, and she frowned faintly, looking at the red candles and assortment of fruits arranged on the table.

“A-Ning…” Someone called to her softly from behind with a light laugh.

It was Qi Yunchu.

A strange feeling suddenly bloomed in her chest. She hesitated a moment, but in the end, she turned to look.

It was her, just as expected, drawing back the rear curtain as she stepped out. Behind that partition lay the room where Qin Youning usually bathed.

She wore a gown of fire-red gauze, loose and slipping, revealing expanses of pale skin.

Brows dark without ink, lips red without rouge, face like a hibiscus blossom, waist slender as a wisp.

It nearly made Qin Youning lose herself just looking.

“…You…” What was happening…

She seemed to have lost the ability to react, staring blankly at the woman as the voice in her heart grew louder and louder.

Fascination crept into her eyes.

A hand gently stroked the corner of her eye, and a kiss landed on her lips.

Soft, and sweet with fragrance.

It tasted just like the osmanthus cake Qin Youning loved best…

No…

Sweeter than even that.

Instinctively, her arms wound around the woman’s waist.

“Silly thing.” The woman’s eyes curved at the corners, her gaze shimmering as she laughed softly.

“We’re married today, and this is how you act?” She paused, then guided Qin Youning to the vanity and removed the ornaments from her hair.

Married…

Qin Youning’s vision blurred with daze, but before she could even gather herself, joy had already overflowed from her heart.

A joy that left her helpless.

Sweet to the point of bitterness.

Married…

She and Qi Yunchu.

Someone drew the ornaments from her hair, and her dark tresses tumbled down like a waterfall.

A hand slid slowly down to her neck, undoing a single button.

“I want you,” the woman said.

Qin Youning raised her hand and caught that soft, boneless hand. With the slightest shift of her strength, their positions reversed.

The woman looked faintly surprised, an eyebrow arching, but her eyes brimmed with tender laughter.

“…I want you too,” Qin Youning murmured, letting fierce possessiveness and obsession climb into her eyes.

She lowered her gaze and kissed her.

It’s all right. This is only a dream.

Indulging just once can’t hurt.

So she thought, sinking willingly into the tangle of silk and sighs.

The red candles flickered all night long, never once going out.