Chapter 84: Lin’an
He had just managed to get on the train a minute before it departed. He sat in his seat. He didn’t have much luggage, and he was taking this cheap and slow green-skinned train. He was in the middle of a crowd of passengers who were carrying large and small packages and were in a hurry to go home. He looked particularly out of place.
He had changed out of his thin suit lining and was wearing a black shirt and black pants. The buttons of his shirt were buttoned from top to bottom, and the cuffs were not left out. He was also wearing a baseball cap. All the places that could be reasonably covered from head to toe were tightly covered.
The train to Lin’an had left the bustling and lively city behind and was passing through large patches of withered and yellow wheat fields in the suburbs. The overgrown weeds were low and were rooted in the cracks of the stones and in the barren land. Looking up, all he could see was a vast expanse of withered yellow, desolate and gray, and humble and unnoticed.
After a whole day’s journey, he finally walked out of the bustling station with his only travel bag. Behind him was a sea of people, and in front of him was a rushing stream of traffic. He suddenly felt a vast sense of insignificance. The backpack on his back was as heavy as a thousand pounds, and it was bending his spine. He couldn’t muster the strength to take a step forward, and he was standing in place like a statue.
A harsh honking sound woke him up. The taxi driver was honking at him and was asking him if he wanted to take a taxi in a local accent.
Su Yu was stunned for a few seconds. The sudden wave of fatigue made him give up his original idea of taking a bus. He opened the car door and got in. He handed the address written on a piece of paper to the driver without a word.
Lin’an was a slow-paced city. The taxi had been driving around the old city for an hour or two. He stared blankly at the old buildings that were flashing past the car window.
This ancient city, which was living in the past, was just the opposite of Qingchuan. Every narrow street, the simple buildings with white walls and red tiles, the street performers who were holding candied haws… the rich and ancient atmosphere was filled with a comfortable and leisurely feeling that made one’s heart calm.
The car passed by a lively and chaotic construction site. A few unfinished buildings were only half-built, and they were standing in the desolate and cold autumn wind, looking a little deserted.
The taxi finally stopped in front of an old neighborhood near the construction site. Everything was as Gu Chuan had told him. He got out of the car with his bag and stood at the main entrance of the neighborhood. The sign with the name of the neighborhood had already peeled off, and it was creaking in the wind. The few buildings that were lined up behind it were also a little old, and they had lost their original color, and they were standing there, gray and dark.
…
“Young man, the house is all tidied up for you. I live on the first floor. If you have any problems, just come and find me.”
The house that Gu Chuan had rented for him was on the third floor. It was a one-bedroom apartment. The landlady was a very enthusiastic middle-aged woman. She was a little overweight, but she looked kind and was also enthusiastic. She had left a lot of small appliances in the house for him to use, so he didn’t have to come empty-handed.
“Thank you, auntie. It’s been a long time. I’m sorry to have troubled you.”
“It’s no trouble. It’s not easy for you students who have come from other places to study.”
The landlady waved her hand. The boy in front of her was quite young, and he was handsome. He spoke slowly and had a scholarly air, which was very likable. He would probably treat her house well, so she was naturally happy.
“Then I’ll come and find you if I have any problems, auntie. I’m new here, and there are indeed many troublesome places.”
“Okay. The New Year is coming soon. You have to get all your New Year’s goods ready. This is a small city, and the shops are all closed during the New Year. You have to think more about the future when you’re alone outside…”
The landlady covered her mouth and smiled, her face flushed red. She twisted her waist and went out the door, not forgetting to turn back and give a few instructions.
“Yeah, I know.”
Su Yu walked the landlady to the top of the stairs. It was not until the other party had completely disappeared from his sight that he turned back to the house. The room of a few dozen square meters did not look big, but besides the travel bag on the sofa, which was not even full, there was almost nothing else. A glance over it was empty, clean and deserted… not a single trace of human life could be found.
He looked down at his wrist. His fair and slender skin was empty. The marks left by the shackles had long since faded and were gone.
He thought he should live a good life alone, to live for himself.
There was no gloomy and long winter here, nor would there be a language he couldn’t understand. And he didn’t have to go back to that dark and sunless, dark and damp basement…
All the pain was as if it had suddenly been shattered like a fragile bubble. He had clearly broken free from the shackles, but why was every step still so heavy and aimless? He suddenly felt as if someone were choking his throat, and he couldn’t breathe. He was standing in the desolate and cold living room, and his hands and feet were cold and stiff.
He suddenly felt a lump in his throat. His fingertips subconsciously touched the corners of his eyes, which were still dry and rough. He was as if he had gone mad. He rushed into the bathroom and looked at his eyelids with a determined look. His lack of sleep these past few days had made his mental state look very poor. His eyes were covered with dense blood vessels, but he still couldn’t find a single tear.
He wondered if there was something wrong with his tear ducts. How could a person lose the ability to cry for no reason? He must be sick. Should he go to the hospital to see a doctor? But his ID card was fake now. Wouldn’t going to the hospital be like walking into a trap?
But he couldn’t save himself. He stood in front of the mirror and looked at the pale and dim face in it, as if he thought it was another strange self. He thought for a moment and still gave up the idea of going to the hospital. It was just that he couldn’t cry. It was not a serious illness… and he wouldn’t die.
Su Yu washed his face with a handful of cold water, walked to the living room, grabbed the key on the table, and went out the door. He turned off the light, and the thick night outside quickly rose, and the house was plunged into darkness.
…
The supermarket downstairs was still open. The rental house was still lacking a lot of daily necessities that needed to be purchased, and also food to fill his stomach. He needed these things to live.
There were not many people in the supermarket at night. Su Yu quickly chose the things he wanted to buy. After he had bought the daily necessities, he chose a few bags of instant noodles and also bought toast for the next day’s breakfast.
He carefully planned his future days and even wrote them down in his phone’s memo. It was as if as long as he saw the well-organized plans on the screen, his restless heart could be calmed down.
Finally, he went to the checkout with a large pile of things and paid. It was not until he had put everything into a plastic bag that he realized that he had forgotten to buy the milk he needed to drink with his bread for breakfast.
Su Yu hurried back to the beverage section and took a large carton of pure milk from the refrigerator. He turned around and was about to go to the counter to pay when he suddenly saw the beer on the shelf behind him. They were neatly arranged, and there was even a promotional sign.
He held the milk in his hand and stared at the colorful beer for a long time. He walked slowly towards the shelf step by step.
He subconsciously felt that he needed this kind of liquid that could make people fall into an unconscious state.
People would only drink to drown their sorrows with a self-abandoning attitude when they were sad. But he should have cheered up, instead of choosing to fall into a state of decadence.
But sometimes, some falls seem to be a rush to death. For some people, it seems to be a struggle for survival.
