Chapter 9: Despair
The bedroom light suddenly turned on. The bright white light poured down, and the darkness was driven to an inconspicuous corner. The dazzling light filled the entire room.
Su Yu squinted his eyes to adjust for a while, then slowly opened his eyes. The drug had already made him always in a drowsy state, unable to muster too much emotion, and even his thoughts were too lazy to work.
Only in the morning after a night’s sleep would this uncomfortable feeling of weakness slightly subside. But the girl often got up much earlier than him. Not long after he had regained his strength, the girl would bring him medicine and hand it to his mouth for him to take.
Perhaps it was out of caution, or perhaps it was out of revenge for his betrayal of her trust. Su Xi only gave him the powder and a glass of plain water that could not relieve the bitterness. So taking the medicine became the most painful time of Su Yu’s day.
Su Yu subconsciously looked at the gloomy and thick night outside the curtain, and then turned his gaze to the door. Su Xi peeked her head out from behind the door, her slightly curled, linen-gold long hair hanging lazily by her ear. She curved her crescent-moon-like eyes, and the corners of her mouth were curved into a sweet smile. But it made Su Yu’s back feel cold, as if he had been thrown outside the house with his bare arms. But… he would rather be like this now.
“Zhiyan… did I disturb you?”
Su Xi stood outside the door and smiled at him. Her slender, onion-like fingers were twirling the ends of her hair. She knocked on the door and asked politely, “Can I come in?”
“No. I’m tired. I want to sleep.”
Su Yu was already feeling strange about Su Xi’s behavior today. These past few days, after she had dragged him to the living room to watch a movie, she would almost always throw him on the bed early and then curl up in his arms to sleep.
Perhaps it was because of a lack of security. The girl’s sleeping posture was very bad. She would often kick the blanket, and sometimes her unintentional turning would even wake him up. Sleeping with the girl was a very tormenting thing.
But today, after she had put him on the bed, Su Xi had not returned to the bedroom for a long time, until Su Yu was woken up.
“Then I’m coming in. I’m so sorry to have disturbed your rest, Zhiyan.”
Su Xi did not care about Su Yu’s malicious refusal and walked in with a smile. In the boy’s terrified gaze, she sat down next to him.
“Why are you trembling, Zhiyan?” Su Xi suddenly got very close, her nose only a few inches away from Su Yu’s. She curiously looked at the slightly contracted black pupils in Su Yu’s refined and gentle eyes. She couldn’t help but laugh, a malicious curve on her lips. “So… Zhiyan is afraid of me.”
“Don’t be afraid… how could I bear to do anything to hurt Zhiyan?”
Su Xi tucked the loose, light hair behind her ear, revealing a pure and harmless, cute smile. Her fingertips gently rubbed Su Yu’s wrist, as if to soothe his uneasy emotions.
“I don’t think I’ve told Zhiyan yet, that special day…”
Su Yu swallowed, his slender Adam’s apple rolling up and down. His voice was a little hoarse from anxiety, but it was not unpleasant. Instead, it had a mature, magnetic quality.
Like a thin feather gently stroking the girl’s heart, the tingling sensation was almost unbearable, making her go crazy. Her hot breath, which was coming out of her nose, couldn’t help but quicken a little, scaring the boy into a shiver.
Late at night, in bed, ambiguous…
Su Yu’s drug-addled brain finally reacted. The thing that had been making him uneasy these past few days seemed to be about to happen as scheduled. He shook his head vigorously, but it seemed a little pale and weak.
“Is it your birthday today?”
He asked in a panic, wanting to confirm. But the girl just looked at him and smiled, neither confirming nor denying. The faint smile on her lips was almost driving him mad. He barely managed to lift his weak hand and hold the girl’s, gently stroking the back of her hand, with a hint of fawning.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. You’re not ugly at all… the first time I saw you, I thought you were a pretty girl. You should have a better future, not just waste it like this.”
Although his heart was pounding in his chest, his speech was still slow and steady, trying to use his weak body to stop the colt that was about to fall off a cliff. “Qingchuan University, don’t you still want to go to Qingchuan University? Then you don’t have to stay at home all the time. By the way, and also…”
“Are you done?”
Su Xi looked down at Su Yu’s hand, which was holding her wrist. The slender, bamboo-like palm was gently stroking her skin, the movements slow and gentle. She enjoyed this submissive boy. If the other party continued to fawn on her like this, she might be able to listen for a little longer. As for the nonsense the other party was saying, she couldn’t hear a single word, nor was she interested.
“Zhiyan’s heart is beating so fast…”
She grabbed the boy’s wrist again, her thumb rubbing the dark blue veins by his wrist, feeling the other party’s pulse getting faster and faster. She raised her head, her doll-like, exquisite and small face full of innocence, like a child who firmly believed in fairy tales. “I heard… when people lie, their hearts can’t help but beat faster, and their palms sweat.”
Su Xi turned over Su Yu’s palm and looked at the hot and greasy sweat on it. Her eyes were deep and dark, and the white incandescent light was swallowed up before it could even reach the bottom of her eyes. “Does Zhiyan think I’m easy to fool? What a pity… my trust is only once, and you’ve already wasted it.”
“I just hope you don’t go astray. Let’s end it now, before anyone finds out. This is too absurd.”
“Absurd? You’re saying…” Su Xi suddenly raised her voice and couldn’t help but laugh. The corners of her upturned eyes were filled with a contemptuous arc. She ran her fair and slender fingers through Su Yu’s thick, smooth black hair. “You’re saying my decade-long love is an absurd joke?”
She suddenly became violent, grabbing Su Yu’s hair and pulling him in front of her. Her hot breath blew directly on Su Yu’s face, and her round and bright pupils were painted with a fierce and cruel color. “Zhiyan… do you know how hard it is to hold back from touching you? I’ve already said… don’t provoke me. This is the last warning.”
“S-Sorry. I just…”
“I know what Zhiyan is worried about. My birthday is tomorrow.”
Su Xi winked playfully, the bloody violence in her eyes instantly disappearing. She smoothed Su Yu’s somewhat messy collar, frowned, and touched the boy’s gentle and handsome face with pity, her voice full of a self-blaming apology. “I’m sorry. I lost control for a moment. Let’s go take a shower. Tomorrow… we’ll have a happy birthday.”
The girl showed Su Yu a gentle and sweet smile, but he was as if he had lost his soul, completely limp in the other party’s arms. His clear and moist eyes were dim, and he looked at the dark corner of the shadow, his spirit gone.
