Chapter 31: Light Rain
The city’s traffic was surging, and the sea of people was like a woven cloth.
He had crossed the heavy barriers and had arrived at the place where she was.
The hospital corridor was crowded with people. The nurses were walking back and forth with their medicine lists, and the patients were holding their registration slips with a worried look on their faces. He had passed by them, and he had walked out after the elevator door on the third floor had slowly opened.
He had accidentally bumped into the person next to him at the door. He had lowered his head and had said sorry, and he had pushed open the door of the hospital room.
The sunlight was dazzling, and the light was on her thin and slender silhouette.
Xia Qiange was sitting by the side of the bed, and her long hair was draped over her waist. She was holding a pen and was writing something. Her dark and dense, slender and long eyelashes were drooping, and they were covering the years of her thoughts that she had never told anyone.
He had paused for a moment, and it was a long time before he had found his own voice. “Qian Ge…”
She had raised her head, and the astonishment in her eyes had quickly turned into happiness. Her face, which had not gained much blood color, was still pale, and it was transparent under the sunlight. The slender blood vessels on the side of her neck were faintly visible.
Su Yu had stared at her for a long time before he had pulled the girl in front of him out of the fresh and young and helpless her.
“What’s wrong?”
Xia Qiange had put down her pen and paper and had walked towards him. She had tilted her head and had looked at him with great confusion. She had slowly held his hand, and her voice was her unique sweet and greasy and gentle. “You’re back so soon?”
“Nothing.” He had shaken his head and had dispelled the thought of repeatedly opening up the past wounds. “The doctor said your illness has been cured, and you can be discharged soon.”
“How do you know?”, she had turned her head and had pointed to the form on the table. “I’ve already talked to the doctor. She said I can be discharged early. I think it’s too stuffy here, so I got a discharge form…”
As she had spoken, her voice had lowered again, and she was as uneasy as a child who had done something wrong. “I didn’t have time to tell you, but I’ll take good care of my body. You said… there’s still a long time in the future.”
Seeing that he was not speaking, Xia Qiange had slowly become restless again. Her tongue was subconsciously grinding against the tip of her teeth. She knew very well her current fragility. The so-called compromise seemed to be just the temporary hibernation of those morbid thoughts. They were hidden, and she didn’t know from which corner they would suddenly pop out and grab her.
She was shaking his arm, and she was trying her best to suppress the restlessness of her heart. Her chest was stuffy and was in pain. “You promised me. Don’t lie to me.”
“Yeah, I promise you.”
He had held her hand, which had no temperature, in return, and his fingers were in the gaps between her fingers, and he had nodded.
…
“Congratulations on your discharge. Don’t be complacent about your health. This is not something that can be cured in a few days. You need to rest well. You have to pay more attention to yourself.”
It was still the young doctor from last time. She had moved her gaze to Su Yu. “You too. My tone was not good last time. I’ve seen too many young people like you in the hospital. There are many who are irresponsible. I’m a person who can’t stand these things.”
The female doctor had just gotten off work, and she had specially sent them to the door.
“Then I wish you two a good life together.”
Su Yu was holding Xia Qiange’s hand and was waving goodbye to the other party at the door. He had turned his head, and the girl had also smiled and had looked at him.
“Are we going home?”, she had asked.
Su Yu had shaken his head and had pulled him in the opposite direction of the station.
“Hmm?”, she was confused, and she hadn’t had time to ask.
“How can we go back empty-handed? We’re almost out of groceries at home.”
Xia Qiange was stunned, and then she had immediately followed him, and they were walking side by side.
The road to the shopping mall was not far, and the pedestrians were in a crowd. She was holding his hand tightly, and their ten fingers were intertwined, as if she were silently declaring her naked possession.
She had suddenly remembered the naive and fresh and young her of the past. She had deluded herself that after she had gotten him, she would have said goodbye to the her who had been in love with him in secret but had been struggling with her self-doubt and cowardice.
But she couldn’t find her when she had looked back. The joy of victory was nowhere to be shared. The Xia Qiange, who was full of lies and was good at calculating, could not find the little girl who had once considered her own willingness to like as a madwoman. That period of time was too long ago. She had chosen the wrong path, and she could not go back. All that was left for her was to go her own way.
Fortunately, he had told her that her good medicine was always herself.
She was terminally ill, but fortunately, there was still a long time.
…
The market was noisy and chaotic, and he was holding her hand even tighter. She was following behind him in a daze.
He had picked and chosen a lot of vegetables. The ones that were not fresh had been removed, and the green vegetable leaves in the basket were covered with water. She had watched as he had led her through the tide of the shopping crowd, and a sense of security had slowly wrapped around her. Her hands and feet had gradually warmed up, but her already-thin body was almost so squeezed that she couldn’t breathe.
“What’s wrong?”
Su Yu had felt the weight on his shoulder, and the familiar faint fragrance in her hair had seduced his sense of smell. He had turned his head, and a few strands of hair had flown to the tip of his nose.
“Nothing.”
Xia Qiange had smiled and had shaken her head, and her pale lips were pursed. “Yeah… why are they all green vegetables? Don’t you like to eat meat?”
“You’ve just been discharged from the hospital. It’s better for your body to have some vegetable porridge. If you want to eat meat, we can talk about it after you’ve recovered a little.” He had frowned and had subconsciously denied.
“Ah Yu…”
She was in a daze, and she had wanted to open her mouth. But before her voice could come out, it had been crushed by the noisy and chaotic sound of people around her. Only she could hear it. She had said, “Su Yu, forgive my greed. I really hope you can always love me like this.”
The murmur was unclear. Su Yu had frowned, and he had not delved into it. He had pulled her and had rushed out of the crowd. It was a little dark when they had left, and it was drizzling.
The neon lights of the signs on the pedestrian street were on, and the billboards were overwhelming. The tall buildings were connected to the even taller buildings, and the surging crowd was washing the wet and damp road. The street vendors were holding umbrellas and were still shouting. The raindrops were drifting in the wind, and they had wet the shoe tips of the two of them under the eaves.
She had looked up at him, and he had taken off his coat. The black fabric had covered her entire body. He was only wearing a single shirt, and his black hair was wet. His back was straight. The sunny and casual, and proper and proud him had easily encompassed all her likes in her youth.
Even though it had later fermented into an incurable and serious illness, the pure and fresh and young root could still not be broken.
Su Yu had pulled her, and his beautiful black eyes were filled with an apology. He had said with some embarrassment, “I was in a hurry to go out. I forgot to bring an umbrella. Let’s just make do and go back.”
So the two of them had walked into the crowd one after another. He had cleared the way for her and had pushed aside the crowd that was squeezing towards her. She was in a daze, and she was looking at his handsome and straight back, and she was at ease. Her heart was pounding, as if it had returned to the palpitation she had had before.
A car had suddenly and horizontally rushed into the crowd. The crowd, which was flowing like a woven cloth, had been cut in half. She was on one side, but he was on the other.
It was just a few meters away, and she was suddenly anxious. The raindrops around her were hitting the roof of the car with a pattering sound, and the sound of people was disturbing. It was so noisy, and it was hitting her chaotic heart like a heavy hammer.
It was as if it were a sequela. She had started to become sensitive again. The torment of gains and losses had completely worn her down. She really wanted to work hard, but she still found it difficult to become brave.
Later, the car had passed by, and her ears were as if they were deaf, or as if the surroundings had all become mute.
He had realized that something was wrong and had turned his head in the crowd.
He had seen her, who had stopped her steps.
It was no longer noisy in his ear. The sound of people, the sound of car horns, and the sound of rain were still there…
They were like a dividing line, and the chaotic crowd was separated by them.
They were separated by an empty city, and they were looking at each other.
“Qian Ge…”
Su Yu had called her from across the crowd, and he had suddenly woken up. The sound had suddenly come back, and it had rushed into his ear canal. She had listened to his voice and had looked at his happy and gentle eyes. She had really loved those eyes.
Xia Qiange had suddenly run towards Su Yu. Her body was still thin and weak, and she couldn’t push through the crowd. So she had stumbled a few times. In the end, she had run to him, and she had buried her head, and she had held him tightly. Her chest was warm, and she was willing to be melted.
He was full of astonishment, but he could only slowly and tightly hold her.
A person’s hesitation and cowardice in the future is because they can’t find the meaning of living. They are always bewildered, so they can never be brave.
She had suddenly figured it out. It was not too complicated. She had always been looking for meaning. Perhaps a person had no meaning in the first place.
This terrible life of hers was probably just to find the only one, and to possess him, and to entangle him. This was the life she should be looking for.
