Chapter 101
As the end of the year approached, the Lin family’s business dealings became more frequent.
After the company’s annual meeting, Song Muqing had requested that Lin Chuwan accompany her to some social engagements. Lin Chuwan had originally been unwilling, but Mother Lin had put in a good word for her, so she couldn’t refuse.
Song Muqing did not make things difficult for her anymore, nor did she attack her with words. They were like strangers living under the same roof.
If it weren’t for the day she had overheard the conversation between Song Muqing and her mother at the dining room entrance, she might have refused to attend any more social engagements with her.
That day, Song Muqing had said to Mother Lin, “Auntie, I want to let Xiao Wan slowly take over some of the company’s affairs. This is the Lin family’s company, after all.”
Mother Lin had sighed, a hint of pity in her words. “Youfan was not my biological son, but before he left, he still entrusted you to take care of me and Xiao Wan. You’ve worked hard all these years. It’s our family that has wronged you.”
Song Muqing seemed to have smiled. “I know what I’m doing. This is what I want.”
Lin Chuwan did not go in. She leaned against the wall and listened to Song Muqing’s rare, gentle tone, slowly closing her eyes.
Song Muqing’s treatment of her mother was sincere and genuine, and her dedication to the Lin family was also from the bottom of her heart. Only towards her was there a heart full of hatred. This was not Song Muqing’s fault.
That year, she had always been considerate of Song Muqing’s emotions. She had been abandoned by her parents since she was a child, and had been abandoned by her relatives, so she was afraid of being abandoned again. So she had not confessed her feelings to her. They had always maintained that ambiguous relationship, and they both knew it in their hearts.
Until she had brought Song Muqing to her brother, and her brother had fallen for her.
She had regretted why she hadn’t said the words “I like you” to Song Muqing from the very beginning, why she hadn’t broken through that layer of window paper. But it was too late for regrets. How could she watch her seriously ill brother cast his lingering and infatuated gaze on Song Muqing? Every time she saw that gaze, she both regretted not having confessed, and was a little glad that she hadn’t.
Her brother did not have many days left at that time. Those were his final moments.
She couldn’t bear to watch her brother leave with such forbearance. His time was running out. So she had hardened her heart, deceived Song Muqing, and begged her to accompany him. They liked each other, but in the end, she had still abandoned her and had pushed her to her brother.
She would never forget that rainy night, when Song Muqing had said in a hoarse voice in the rain, “I know you’re lying to me. You like me. Don’t lie to me, okay? I only have you. You can’t leave me!”
And the tears on her face had merged with the rain. Her trembling hands had grabbed Song Muqing’s sleeve, and she had said the most insincere words of her life, “No, I’m only continuing to be with you for my brother’s sake. I’m begging you to accompany him… he really doesn’t have time… I’m begging you…”
She had almost knelt down to Song Muqing, and those words had finally become the last straw that had pushed her off a cliff.
Lin Youfan had kidney failure. By the time a suitable kidney source was found, his other organs had already begun to fail one after another, and his days were numbered.
Song Muqing had fulfilled Lin Chuwan’s wish and had accompanied Lin Youfan every day in his final moments. After he passed away, she had followed his instructions and stayed with the Lin family, becoming the deeply affectionate widow in the eyes of outsiders.
Only Lin Chuwan knew that from then on, Song Muqing’s care for her mother was genuine, but for her, it was a heart full of resentment.
If she could repay the pain she had caused and make Song Muqing feel a little better, then she herself would also feel more at ease.
Lin Chuwan leaned against the railing at the top of the stairs, looking at the wine glass in her hand without a word. She swirled it gently, her gaze shifting to the crowd of people drinking and chatting downstairs. She didn’t remember which family was hosting the party today. When Song Muqing had told her succinctly, she had only nodded, not caring about the destination.
She could easily find Song Muqing’s figure in the crowd, just like back then, when she could easily spot her among so many classmates with just one glance.
Song Muqing was wearing a slim-fitting woman’s suit, looking cold and aloof in the crowd. Coupled with the deeply affectionate label that the outside world had given her for not abandoning the Lin family, she was undoubtedly a dazzling presence at such an occasion.
Only when she was alone did Lin Chuwan dare to gaze at Song Muqing in such a daze. Seeing her at ease and handling everything with ease, such a her did not have the full-body hostility she had when they were alone. Lin Chuwan was almost lost in the sight.
“Hey, I heard that President Song brought the Lin family’s young lady.”
“The real boss, you mean?”
“What real or not? Isn’t President Song the one in charge now? I think the Lin Corporation will soon be surnamed Song. You should hurry up and hug her thigh. The Lin family’s eldest son has been dead for so long. She might as well try it with a woman…”
A few women were gossiping about the Lin family in a mysterious and teasing tone, followed by a burst of laughter.
Lin Chuwan’s fingers, holding the glass, tightened, and she turned to glare at a group of gaudily dressed women not far away. “What did you say?”
Seeing this, the few women immediately stopped laughing. One of them, who was probably the wife of some boss downstairs, frowned and scolded her, “What’s your attitude? Where did you come from? You don’t have any manners at all.”
A woman beside her sneered in agreement, “It seems a lot of people are trying to flatter your husband today. I wonder which family they’re from.”
Lin Chuwan pressed her lips together and said nothing. Was she to reveal her identity? Who could prove it? Song Muqing would probably just make her look like a fool. That day, she had said that she wanted her to hurt too, that she wanted her to pay off those debts. How could she protect her?
Thinking of this, Lin Chuwan’s anger from just now instantly disappeared. She had no confidence to do so.
“Forget it. Let’s go,” another woman said, trying to smooth things over. “Weren’t we going to find a place to sit downstairs? Let’s not waste time.”
“Let’s go,” the leading woman who had just scolded Lin Chuwan said, and before she left, she didn’t forget to glare at her.
The few women walked towards the stairs where Lin Chuwan was, and started to chat and laugh again, no one paying any more attention to her. It wasn’t until one woman felt her shoulder bump into something, and was about to scold her, that she gasped.
The moment she was bumped, Lin Chuwan had instinctively wanted to grab the railing. As she missed, a deep fear rose in her heart, and her heart ached with emptiness. There was no one standing by her side to support her. She couldn’t even refute the ridicule of others. She was like a wine glass that had fallen to the ground, her heart already shattered into pieces.
Then what was she still struggling for? Besides, Song Muqing had said that she wanted her to hurt. Only when she hurt could the dead knot between them be untied, and only then could she repay those sins.
Song Muqing, I’ll give it back to you now. As much pain as you’re in, I’ll be in as much pain.
“Quick, grab her! Quick!”
In the panicked shouts and footsteps of those women, the entire hall erupted in a commotion, a mess. Lin Chuwan had already started to roll down the stairs!
Dozens of winding steps. Lin Chuwan’s forehead was hit several times, and the inertia made her roll down even faster. When she landed on the flat ground, she was lying on her stomach. The carpet was stained with blood, and the blood had stained half of her face.
“Quick, call an ambulance!”
The hall was filled with chaotic footsteps, and the shouts for help and discussions were endless. Lin Chuwan’s face was covered in blood, and her exquisite makeup could no longer be seen. Her ears were ringing, and she couldn’t hear anything clearly, as if a layer of insulation had been placed over her ears. It was as if everyone had abandoned her, left her here, and no one wanted her.
Her vision was stained with blood. She only saw a pair of legs stumbling towards her, kneeling in front of her and holding her, a familiar warmth enveloping her.
“Who was it! Who pushed her down!” Song Muqing was holding Lin Chuwan’s body, but her own body and voice were trembling violently.
At this moment, she couldn’t remember at all how she had wanted Lin Chuwan to hurt. She had said such words, but at this moment, when Lin Chuwan was lying here with a face full of blood, her whole person was as if her soul had been drained. She couldn’t help but run over and hold her. She had forgotten what she had said and done. She couldn’t really watch her hurt.
A woman’s trembling voice came from the crowd, “We don’t know. She fell down by herself…”
Blood was constantly seeping from Lin Chuwan’s forehead, and the sticky liquid had stained Song Muqing’s hands red. She frantically wiped away the blood. The hall was very warm, but she felt as if she had been thrown into the snow, her body trembling violently, her tears falling on Lin Chuwan’s face, mixing with the blood.
“Xiao Wan… Xiao Wan! Wake up…” Song Muqing’s eyes were filled with only blood, more and more blood as she wiped. Her vision was blurry, and she held Lin Chuwan in her arms.
Her collar was suddenly gently tugged. She reflexively lowered her head. The person in her arms was smiling at her weakly, so gentle it was like their first meeting in school that year. “Muqing… I’m giving it back to you… giving it back to you…”
Lin Chuwan was smiling as she spoke, her smile blooming in the blood, dyeing Song Muqing’s eyes red. She finally cried out, holding Lin Chuwan’s head and using her palm to stop the bleeding from the wound on her forehead.
Just then, someone called the Lin family’s driver in. “Miss! Miss Song! Hurry up and get in the car with Uncle Wei. We’re going to the hospital!”
Hearing this, Song Muqing was startled awake. She held Lin Chuwan’s back with one hand and passed her other hand under her legs. Just as she was about to lift her, her legs gave way, and she knelt down again. She gritted her teeth, supported her body, and lifted her again.
She carried Lin Chuwan into the car, her tears making it impossible for her to see her face clearly. She kept wiping the blood from her face with her hand. “The hospital… Xiao Wan, we’re going to the hospital. We’ll be there soon.”
Lin Chuwan looked at Song Muqing with a dazed look through her blood-red vision. The hand that was clutching her clothes was in excruciating pain, but she still stubbornly and slowly raised it to touch her face. Was this a dream? Why was Song Muqing holding her? Why were those cold eyes filled with anxiety and remorse? She would not show such emotions.
She seemed to feel Song Muqing take her hand, and the voice by her ear was trembling violently. “Xiao Wan, we’ll be at the hospital soon. We’ll be there soon…”
Lin Chuwan was crying and smiling, shaking her head gently, letting herself sink into Song Muqing’s eyes, and murmuring to herself, “I’ve given it back to you. Is this enough? Is it enough…”
Song Muqing shook her head, tears streaming down her face. She held Lin Chuwan, her trembling hands wiping away the blood and tears from her face. Her lips trembled violently, and a wave of fear covered her heart. She had never hated herself more than at this moment.
“I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want you to hurt anymore. I’m sorry…” Song Muqing sobbed, holding Lin Chuwan’s face, and the emotions that had been suppressed for a long time were released without reservation. “I was just unwilling. I hate you for clearly having me in your heart, but still giving me up for someone else! I thought that my position in your heart was important, that it couldn’t be given up… but you didn’t want me for someone else!”
Lin Chuwan’s heart ached so much that the hand touching Song Muqing’s face was trembling. Her smile was replaced by tears, her breath as thin as a thread. “It’s my fault. I didn’t confess my feelings to you from the very beginning. After my brother fell seriously ill, I regretted countless times why I hadn’t told you earlier that I liked you… but what was I supposed to do at that time? My brother, he liked you so much… it’s my fault…”
Everything back then had been so perfect. She had been considerate of Song Muqing’s emotions and had never explicitly stated her own affection. They had both enjoyed that state. She had even brought her to her brother and had told him that this was her best friend.
The change had happened at that time. Her brother and she had fallen for the same person. He was not her biological brother, but he had treated her extremely well. How could she watch him leave with such forbearance and regret?
Song Muqing shook her head, unable to say those vicious words anymore, her tone full of powerlessness. “I know how hard it was for you to face that choice. I know that if you could, you wouldn’t have wanted to face such a choice. But when I think of you choosing to give up our feelings in the end, I can’t persuade myself to be calm. I trusted you so much, liked you so much. How could you not want me…”
“I’m sorry. I really had no choice…” Lin Chuwan was crying so hard she couldn’t catch her breath.
“Let’s not bring it up again, okay?” Song Muqing said to her softly, her expression full of fatigue. “Let’s not bring up the past anymore. Let’s not.”
Could they really not bring up the past anymore? Lin Chuwan stared at Song Muqing’s gentle eyes in a daze, the world spinning before her. It was as if she could see the Song Muqing who had begged her so bitterly that year, and also the her who had hardened her heart and cut off their feelings.
They had been entangled for so long. It was already impossible to sort it out. Song Muqing had been in pain for so many years. How much blood would it take for her to repay it?
She listened to Song Muqing’s gentle whisper of her name by her ear, and her eyes gradually closed, her hands unconsciously falling to her sides, and then there was no movement.
An overwhelming panic washed over Song Muqing’s heart. She held Lin Chuwan even tighter and shouted at Uncle Wei in a hoarse voice, “Uncle Wei! Hurry! Drive faster!”
