Chapter 28

Before, Lu Yuqing had always called her a blockhead and a bookworm who didn’t know how to be in a relationship. Tang Feiwan hadn’t been convinced. But after sending that message last night, even she realized how foolish it was. Who announces a gift before giving it? So she immediately recalled the message and said good night.

To her surprise, Lin Ye also replied good night.

She had thought that once Lin Ye accepted the gift, she would be able to sleep a little better. But deep into the night, around two o’clock, after washing up and lying in bed, Tang Feiwan tossed and turned. Images of the past kept flashing through her mind. For the umpteenth time, she cursed herself for her past mistakes. In the five years after their breakup, she had initially believed it was only distance and time zones causing too little communication, and that problems couldn’t be addressed in time. After losing Lin Ye’s contact information, other than messaging Lu Yuqing to ask about her, getting called heartless, and then being blocked, she had never tried any other way.

She remembered reading somewhere: “True disappointment isn’t rage, isn’t wailing, isn’t even losing your temper at you. It’s silence. It’s feeling that whatever you do no longer has anything to do with me.” So when Lin Ye ended things with “It began with her, so it should end with her,” that was probably exactly how she felt.

But Tang Feiwan had only come to understand all this recently. Lin Ye had been hurt by her hot-and-cold behavior—behavior she herself hadn’t even been aware of. Her heart had gone cold. She had been utterly disappointed, so she had turned and left. Five years. Five long years without a word. And now she had come rushing back to the country to confess her feelings and disturb Lin Ye’s peaceful life…

At that thought, Tang Feiwan’s throat tightened. She no longer thought Lin Ye’s earlier rejection was merciless. Instead, she felt that Lin Ye’s direct refusal tonight had already been a sign of softness. Lying in bed, she stared blankly at the ceiling. Everything before her was pitch black, impossible to see. She blamed herself, felt guilty, and regretted everything. She asked herself whether she should do as Lin Ye said and step back to being ordinary friends. But in the end, she bit her lip and shook her head. Since she had already shamelessly asked Lin Ye for one more chance, she had to work hard to let Lin Ye get to know her again. If by then she still couldn’t get what she wished for, she would have no regrets.

The hour hand on the clock beside her had already passed three. Tang Feiwan lay on her side, phone in hand, her thumb brushing over the good night message from two and a half hours ago. Her heart softened. Finally, she closed her eyes.

The next day, Tang Feiwan arrived at the department thirty minutes before her shift. While Lin Ye was away, she placed the gift box containing the bookmark among the books Lin Ye often flipped through, then returned to her own desk. Tang Feiwan had thought it through. She didn’t need to hand it over personally. If she placed it where Lin Ye would see it, Lin Ye would know it was from her. It was like how they should interact. Don’t stand too close. Don’t push too hard. Let Lin Ye gradually notice the change.

“Xiao Tang, what’s with your eyes? Why are they so swollen?” Liu Zhinan came back from the ward, preparing to leave. When he saw her sitting before the computer with red, swollen eyes, he asked with concern.

Tang Feiwan lied guiltily. “It’s nothing. I watched a movie before bed last night. It was tearjerking.”

Liu Zhinan shook his head. “Funny. Lin Ye said the same thing. Did you two watch a movie together?”

“Ah? No, no.” Just as she finished speaking, Lin Ye walked in.

Liu Zhinan shot her a look. “Look. Her eyes are the same as yours.”

Tang Feiwan turned and met Lin Ye’s eyes directly. They looked better than her own, but still clearly abnormal. They accidentally held each other’s gaze for a few seconds before Lin Ye looked away first. Her attention returned to the medical record book in her arms as she walked on and said, “A new patient just came to bed two. Suspected poisoning. Go see whether they need blood filtration.”

“Okay.” Tang Feiwan knew Lin Ye was speaking to her. She withdrew her gaze, grabbed the only pen left on the table, and left.

Along the way, Gu Yan and another nurse who often worked with her also asked about her eyes. Tang Feiwan brushed them off with a few words, then pulled Gu Yan along to the resuscitation room.

The patient’s condition wasn’t critical, so a family member was inside the room talking. “I told her not to take random medicine, but she wouldn’t listen. Two days later, she bought another bag.”

The nurse briefed Tang Feiwan. “Dr. Tang, the patient is eighty-three, with a history of hypertension and diabetes. She now has nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, and diarrhea.”

Tang Feiwan nodded. “Mm, blood pressure is low. Start fluids and pressors.” After taking the history, she added, “There are also signs of vagus nerve excitation.” Then she asked the family, “What medicine did the patient take?”

“Aconite. The old lady heard it can dispel dampness.” The family member began complaining again. “We have a huge pile of health supplements at home without production batch numbers, and now she’s started drinking Chinese medicine.”

Tang Feiwan said as she walked to the patient’s bedside, “Medicine prescribed by a proper Chinese medicine hospital is fine. The dosage is controlled. Did she buy the medicine at a proper Chinese medicine hospital?”

The family member sighed. “No. She bought it at some shop on the street.”

Tang Feiwan frowned. “How much did she buy?”

The family member shook their head. “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her.”

Tang Feiwan had the patient bend her knees and pressed on her abdomen. “Ma’am, where does your stomach hurt?”

The patient spoke in dialect. “Ai, it’s uncomfortable. It feels heavy. My lower belly is very heavy.”

Tang Feiwan strained to understand, then asked, “How much did you take?”

“Once every other day, three times. When I brewed it, there was almost no color.”

That meant the amount wasn’t large. But the patient was old, so caution was needed. Tang Feiwan ordered, “Run a toxicology screen.”

The family member still complained but clearly cared about the patient. Hearing the word “toxic,” they asked anxiously, “Doctor, it’s not a big problem, right? What do you mean by toxic? It isn’t poisoning, is it?”

Tang Feiwan nodded. “The patient has drug poisoning. Judging from the amount, it doesn’t seem large. It should be fine.”

The family member relaxed. “Oh, that’s good.”

“But elderly people metabolize slowly. I’m going to do a toxicology analysis to see how much of the drug is in her blood before deciding on further treatment.”

“Okay, thank you, doctor.”

The family member suddenly had an idea. “Doctor, can you persuade my mother not to buy random medicine anymore? She listens to doctors.”

Tang Feiwan agreed.

A nurse drew blood from the patient. Tang Feiwan patiently talked with the patient, then went to the ward to hand over with another attending physician. It was nearly eight o’clock when she returned to the office. She saw that on Lin Ye’s desk, the bulging book had flattened. That meant Lin Ye had accepted the gift.

Two dog-shaped bookmarks. In a way, they also represented herself. The paper one was an apology. The solid gold one was a wish.

During their second summer together, Tang Feiwan and Lin Ye had gone to a cat café. They sat side by side. Tang Feiwan held a silver shaded cat and looked at Lin Ye with a smile. “Senior Sister, I finally know why you like cats.”

“Mm?”

Tang Feiwan squeezed the cat’s pink toe bean. “They’re very cute.”

Lin Ye stroked the chin of a golden shaded cat beside her and asked, “Aren’t you more of a dog person?”

“I like cats too.” Tang Feiwan’s eyes curved. “Because Senior Sister, didn’t you say you’re like a cat?”

Lin Ye caught her implication after a moment and, lips curving, listened as she went on: “Then I’m a puppy.”

Lin Ye frowned. “Who turns themselves into a dog?”

“Dogs are cute too. I really want to be a carefree little dog. Eat, sleep, eat, and have someone take me out for walks.” Tang Feiwan had been nearly driven crazy by finals. Fortunately, Lin Ye had brought her out to relax today. She rested her head on Lin Ye’s shoulder and murmured, “Senior Sister, I want to be your Tang Puppy. I don’t want to go back and study.”

Lin Ye laughed at her. “You say that now. But once you’re back at school, you’ll want to devour your books.”

“When we start working and get a place of our own, can we raise a cat and a dog?” Tang Feiwan’s right hand covered Lin Ye’s. “Because having both a cat and a dog means a happy life.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll teach the puppy to act cute. When I mess up in the future and you won’t listen to my explanation, I’ll send it to coax you.”

Lin Ye followed her lead. “Am I that scary?”

“No, you’re not. I’m saying if. If.”

Recalling the past, Tang Feiwan’s heart grew warm. She hadn’t rested more than a few minutes during a whole night shift, but the next day she was still full of energy. But the happiness lasted only a few days. On Friday, when she was on a twenty-four-hour shift, after dinner she sat back at her desk and found a rectangular gift box beside the pen holder.

Tang Feiwan naturally guessed who had sent it. She swallowed, reached out, and opened the box. Inside lay a Montblanc pen. Beneath it was a folded note. She unfolded it and recognized the familiar handwriting: “Don’t give such expensive gifts in the future.”

For a second, Tang Feiwan thought Lin Ye wanted to settle accounts and not owe her anything. Then she saw the words “in the future,” and her frown instantly relaxed. She let out a low laugh. Tang Feiwan carried the pen everywhere. Colleagues teased her, asking if her partner had given it to her, since she treasured it so much. Her heart sweet, she said, “Don’t talk nonsense. Not yet.”

“So maybe later, then.”

After carrying it around for several days, Tang Feiwan still felt uneasy. She carefully placed the pen back in its gift box and took it home. After all, in a hospital, pens were the most precious thing. You could buy a pen in the morning, and by afternoon it might vanish.

Once a person’s luck turns, good things come in pairs. Thursday afternoon, Director Gao called. “Xiao Tang, this weekend our department will represent the hospital at the emergency skills competition in Chucheng. You’re on the list.”

“Wasn’t Dr. Zhu going?” The day she was injured, another doctor had replaced her.

“Zhu’s wife is about to give birth. He can’t leave.”

Tang Feiwan asked instinctively, “Is Director Lin going?”

“Of course. Xiao Lin is also the deputy team leader of the competition group.”

Actually, Director Gao was only informing her. As long as there was no major family matter, everyone was expected to go.

After hanging up, Tang Feiwan finally registered an important piece of information: Chucheng. The place where Lin Ye had lived for eighteen years. She guessed Lin Ye would probably stay at home and spend time with her mom.

When she was in college, she had been to Chucheng twice. Lin Ye had taken her to the Chucheng zoo, climbed the mountains of Chucheng, and eaten the noodles of Chucheng.

At the noodle shop at the foot of the mountain, Lin Ye had looked thoughtful as she ate her beef noodles. “The noodles here are only so-so. When I get the chance, I’ll take you to my family’s noodle shop.” Lin Ye’s mother ran a noodle shop, a decades-old establishment. Unfortunately, that day Lin Ye’s mother had happened to be on a trip with friends, and the shop was closed.

Another time, during the Mid-Autumn Festival, they had planned to spend the holiday in Chucheng together. Tang Feiwan had arrived near eleven in the morning. But Lin Ye had already bought an afternoon train ticket back to Shujiang. Tang Feiwan later learned that day Lin Ye had come out to her mother, and the two had parted unhappily.

So this time, could she get a chance to meet Lin Ye’s mother?