Chapter 33: 33 Chapter 33 Part 3

Qin Shuangchi wouldn’t have had to choose between her husband and her little sister.

She shouldn’t have asked for too much.

She wasn’t a healthy, emotionally stable person. Staying here caused her pain. So she definitely shouldn’t try to keep Ji Qingyou by her side, making her suffer along with her.

That night, as she watched the sleeping Ji Qingyou.

Yu Qinjiu had already thought of this. She realized that Ji Qingyou hadn’t gone to have New Year’s Eve dinner with her family. That day, she had still tried to deceive herself.

But now, this situation had happened a second time.

When she was with her, Ji Qingyou refused to attend the family dinner. She couldn’t coexist peacefully with the Yu family, and she couldn’t let Ji Qingyou be caught in a dilemma.

She could foresee this happening a third time, countless times. Like when Qin Shuangchi and Yu Muzhou’s child was born, Ji Qingyou would refuse to visit, causing a rift in her relationship with Qin Shuangchi. Like countless future New Year’s Eve dinners and important holidays, Ji Qingyou would refuse to attend. Like when Yu Cheng and Gu Xi’s second child graduated from university and became a doctor at Ji Qingyou’s hospital, Ji Qingyou might resign from the hospital, might throw everything away…

If she stayed, all these things would happen.

Things Yu Qinjiu couldn’t forgive herself for. Things that would make Ji Qingyou completely shatter and rebuild her life. Things that would make Ji Qingyou suffer more than before. Things that would drag Ji Qingyou into pain… Things Yu Qinjiu couldn’t bear.

Things she shouldn’t let continue.

Even if Ji Qingyou was firm in making these choices, it didn’t mean she wouldn’t suffer because of them.

Even if she felt Ji Qingyou should choose her, even if she could stay with Ji Qingyou longer, a little longer.

She could make herself ignore all this.

But Yu Qinjiu couldn’t stay forever.

She couldn’t let Ji Qingyou throw away everything for her just because of a short stay.

To be honest.

At one moment when she was eighteen, Yu Qinjiu had thought about kidnapping Ji Qingyou and eloping with her to England. Their connection was too close. Separating felt like tearing the other person away from their own life, a painful thing.

But she couldn’t.

Because she didn’t have the identity, the right.

Because Ji Qingyou said she didn’t remember the kiss after the graduation ceremony. Because they were just… friends who accompanied each other through the first half of their lives.

Because she couldn’t even guarantee she could bear her own life, so naturally, she couldn’t guarantee, in the name of a “best friend,” to bear Ji Qingyou’s future life.

Even if she liked her, she couldn’t use this name, this incomplete version of herself, to kidnap Ji Qingyou’s life.

Very early on, everything was already predetermined.

The people in her future plans could hardly follow her plans. They all had their own paths. They could hardly walk the same path with her forever.

It was enough for just one person in life to press the pause button.

Unexpectedly, just before the plane took off, Yu Qinjiu went through these thoughts completely in her mind but didn’t cry.

In recent years, she rarely allowed herself to cry in public.

Even if she couldn’t help it, she would put on a face mask in advance.

But unexpectedly, her tears had become fewer. It seemed like Ji Qingyou was the button that released her tears. When she saw Ji Qingyou, the tears would flow as freely as before.

When Ji Qingyou wasn’t around.

Her dry body couldn’t produce many tears.

Li Nanli, who had just gone through cancer surgery and hadn’t fully recovered, still came to the airport to see Yu Qinjiu off, just like ten years ago. And just before she left, she handed her an old iPhone.

An iPhone 4, a hit in 2012.

There was a small rabbit sticker on the back, with the letters JQY on it. It was the phone Yu Qinjiu had used for a DV exchange with Li Nanli a long time ago.

“I don’t know if it can still turn on. Even if it does, the accounts probably can’t be logged into anymore. I originally wanted to give it to Ji Qingyou…” Li Nanli said hesitantly. “But that night I went to find Ji Qingyou, no one was home. I went to find her a few more times during summer vacation, but Ji Qingyou was never there. Until later when Ji Qingyou went to university, I couldn’t see her anymore.”

“I found it at home a few days ago. Now, I’m giving it back to you.”

Yu Qinjiu hadn’t expected Li Nanli to have kept this phone. She slowly reached out and took it. There was no way to charge the phone at the airport. The small, black screen reflected her pale expression.

Before she left.

Li Nanli’s eyes were red. She hugged her and whispered sincerely in her ear, “Thank you, Yu Qinjiu. You and Ji Qingyou are the two most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in this world.”

Yu Qinjiu hugged her back. “How can you praise me while bringing Ji Qingyou into it?”

Probably because they didn’t know when they would meet again, Li Nanli couldn’t bring herself to smile at her light joke. She just slowly patted her back and gave her a farewell blessing.

“Be happy from now on. Good luck.”

Yu Qinjiu’s eyes felt hot. She said goodbye to everything in Nanwu.

“Okay. You too.”

The plane took off, but encountered turbulence in the air and had to land at a nearby airport. She turned on her phone and inexplicably opened the chat window with Ji Qingyou.

She stared blankly.

The moment her thoughts returned, she broke out in a cold sweat for no reason. The ground under her feet seemed to collapse. A hallucination made her fall into a terrifying hole. Her sensitive nerve endings trembled.

Like some kind of omen.

Before she could delete the conversation, Lin Yingxiang’s profile picture appeared. She answered the call. Before she could react, Lin Yingxiang said,

“Brittany and I are coming back to China immediately. Don’t come back to London yet.”

She didn’t understand what was happening. Lin Yingxiang sighed. “Qin Bailan doesn’t know he’s not my son, does she? She just called and cursed me out, and I didn’t understand half of it. Then she blurted out…”

“Your son was caught cheating on his wedding day. How dare he treat my daughter like this?”

She laughed coldly on the phone. “Then I realized. Ah. This little bastard, Yu Muzhou. He’s been my ‘son’ for over twenty years.”

When she hung up the phone.

Yu Qinjiu felt cold all over. It was like a tornado wrapped in snowflakes had blown through the airport, stealing all her body heat for no reason.

She bought a ticket to Nanwu as fast as she could.

How could Yu Muzhou do this?

What right did Yu Muzhou have to do this?

Why did Yu Muzhou do this?

More than these questions.

Yu Qinjiu wanted everything to shatter. Whether it was an illusion or reality, it should all be destroyed.

But when she got back on the plane.

The flight attendant handed her a glass of green pomelo juice.

Her tears came without warning, falling one by one, soaking the scarf around her neck, soaking the fragile butterfly resting there.

At least what mustn’t be destroyed was Ji Qingyou, and Yu Qinjiu herself—because when the bullet came, she was the one who would take it for Ji Qingyou.

When the plane landed, it was already late at night. Yu Qinjiu’s phone was dead from a dead battery. She charged through this familiar city like a headless chicken.

She couldn’t say exactly who she was looking for.

Qin Shuangchi? What should she say to her? I’m sorry? Or you deserve it?

Yu Muzhou? She was afraid she couldn’t control herself. She might grab him by the collar and jump off the roof with him, ending them both.

Ji Qingyou? She should go find Ji Qingyou. She really, really, really wanted to find Ji Qingyou. But she couldn’t.

She wasn’t home. She wasn’t at the hospital either.

Her phone was dead. She couldn’t make any calls.

So she hailed a taxi, asking the driver to take her through different streets, frantically searching for Ji Qingyou’s figure.

In the vast city of Nanwu, this way of finding someone was like looking for a needle in a haystack.

But Yu Qinjiu had no other choice.

Until.

She met the fourth turning point of her life.

The night wind was strong. Even inside the taxi, she could feel the biting cold. The taxi passed a brightly lit street. On this unfamiliar street, she saw the car she had left for Ji Qingyou. A dark green Beetle.

The streetlights swayed. Her vision slowly focused.

On a bench behind the car sat a slender figure, her back to her. She was bent over, her head down, her coat as wrinkled as if she had just escaped from a fire.

It was Ji Qingyou.

Sitting silently on the bench. She didn’t know what she was clutching in her hand. Beside her was a piece of cake. A candle was lit.

Ji Qingyou was making a wish, but she didn’t move.

Reminding Yu Qinjiu of a day long ago, when Ji Qingyou’s beloved kitten was found dead. Ji Qingyou was just like this, her thin back bent, as if it could break at any moment.

Her long hair, tousled by the wind, was like a net, trapping Ji Qingyou’s unbending body, binding her in a very painful position.

Yu Qinjiu didn’t know how long Ji Qingyou would stay like this.

She only felt that the dense net had extended to her as well, binding her heart. She couldn’t tell whether the emotions coming from Ji Qingyou were regret, or anger…

Or both.

She only felt pain. With every step she took, every step closer to Ji Qingyou, the net tightened around her breath, squeezing until there was almost no gap left.

She stood in front of Ji Qingyou. A strong gust of wind lifted both their hair at the same time, enveloping them in the same cocoon. With stiff fingers, she took off her own scarf and wrapped it around Ji Qingyou.

Then she hugged Ji Qingyou, calling her name very, very softly.

Besides that, she didn’t know what else to say.

She didn’t even know what Ji Qingyou was sad about. She didn’t know if she should comfort her.

But the second she hugged her, the wind picked up. Ji Qingyou looked up at her. Her dark eyes slowly became moist. She slowly leaned closer, wrapped her arms around Yu Qinjiu’s waist, and put all her weight on her.

Yu Qinjiu sighed in relief. At least, at a time like this, Ji Qingyou was still willing to hug her. It meant Ji Qingyou didn’t hold a grudge against her because of what had happened.

She hesitantly raised her hand.

In the cold winter night, she gently stroked Ji Qingyou’s hair. This action lasted for a few seconds. But the next time she raised her hand, Ji Qingyou grabbed her wrist.

The grip was a bit strong, but not painful.

She tried to soften her voice as much as possible. “I’m here, Ji Qingyou.”

A few words drifted out.

Ji Qingyou, who had buried her face in her side, let out a breath that had been held tightly. It was fragile, like finally finding a piece of driftwood in the endless deep sea.

She clung to it tightly, unwilling to let go.

Ji Qingyou didn’t speak, but tears of suppressed grief kept flowing from her eyes. So suppressed that even Yu Qinjiu’s eyes filled with tears.

At that moment, she heard Ji Qingyou’s voice, dry and hoarse to the point of being lost. She struggled to the surface, like someone gasping for air, saying with difficulty,

“I thought… I would never see you again.”