Chapter 59
It’s really not something I want to face…
Jian Xin took a deep breath and replied to Huang He with a voice message, “My respected, great, dear Madam Huang, why did you have to ask this question of all questions?”
Huang He also replied with a voice message, “Your tone sounds like there’s a story.”
Jian Xin: “…”
Oh well, whether she answered or not, Xin Xin was here—the furry child would have to meet her parents sooner or later, and she couldn’t hide it for long.
The sound was unavoidable, so she could just change the character, right?
I’m Alive Again: Xin Xin!
After a brief silence, Huang He came to her senses.
Huang He: Oh, Xin Xin.
I’m Alive Again: …
Why are you even correcting me—
Huang He: I was wondering why it was so well-behaved. So it’s Xin Xin.
Jian Changjiang: [Hahahahaha]
I’m Alive Again: [It’s fine, I don’t care]
Jian Xin turned off WeChat, spread her arms, and lay flat on her bed.
She had already told the landlord that she would not be renewing her lease.
So, she had brought all the things she could take with her to Yan Lu’s house.
Although she had been living here for several months, after really confirming that she could stay here forever, she felt a daze in her heart.
In the past, she had always felt that she might not be able to stay here for long, just like the bridge that had been built between her and Yan Lu because of a duck.
But no one knew when this bridge would break, and no one knew what would happen to their unclear old feelings after it broke.
It wasn’t until this moment that she had a subtle sense of reality about living together.
Jian Xin couldn’t help but wonder, had Yan Lu also been like her in the past, lacking a sense of security even when she was living in her home?
Huang He had said that in the years Yan Lu had been gone, she had sent a sum of money to the family.
Two hundred thousand…
That was the “dowry” that Yan Guihong had taken from her family back then. Her parents had never told Yan Lu, and she had never said anything either.
But in fact, Yan Lu still knew.
So, the reason Yan Lu had worked so hard to earn money all those years was also more or less related to this matter, right?
The insecurity in a person’s heart, no one can really escape it.
At this thought, Jian Xin sighed and closed her eyes to sleep.
When she woke up, it was the familiar feeling of being squeezed by a dog.
The sunlight fell on her body, a little scorching.
Looking at the study from the balcony, Yan Lu was not at the computer.
Jian Xin jumped up from the floor, left Xin Xin, who was sleeping soundly on the balcony, and walked out of the study with her little wings on her back, poking her little head to look at the open bedroom door—not in the bedroom, then she must be in the living room.
She turned her head and walked towards the living room, and saw Yan Lu sitting on the sofa, reading a book.
The clock on the wall showed that it was four-thirty in the afternoon, just when the sun was setting. It seemed that the sunlight on the balcony was too strong, so Yan Lu had come to sit here.
Jian Xin took a running start and flew, not very steadily, onto the sofa.
Yan Lu came back to her senses, reached out to help the duck, and after a moment of scrutiny, she held back a laugh and pushed her to the side.
“Quack!” What are you pushing me for!
Even though she had been pushed, the little duck was still very stubborn and leaned a little closer to her.
Her round body pressed against the side of her leg, and she tilted her head up, looking at the book in Yan Lu’s hand with some curiosity.
—Another one she had never seen before.
Yan Lu liked to read books, all kinds of books.
Compared to the electronic version, she preferred the physical version, and she liked the thick feeling of being able to hold it in her hand, as if it gave her a better feeling of reading.
Jian Xin was not very interested in these things, so she yawned, snuggled up beside Yan Lu, and prepared to be in a daze for a while.
Just as she had snuggled down, Yan Lu’s hand touched her forehead.
From her head, to her neck, and then to her chest and stomach—Yan Lu, without a sound, petted her from top to bottom.
This hand, which was very skilled at petting a duck, had always known how to make her feel comfortable.
Being petted like this, she quickly became sleepy again, her gaze growing increasingly hazy.
In a half-awake state, Xin Xin had, at some point, also come over, whining and wandering back and forth under the sofa, with a look of a wronged person who had lost favor.
Yan Lu couldn’t bear to see it so wronged, so she also picked it up onto the sofa.
And so, the half-asleep Jian Xin was pushed to the side by Xin Xin’s butt.
“Ugh ugh…” Bad dog.
She subconsciously muttered, and with a squint, she saw that Xin Xin had taken her spot and was receiving Yan Lu’s caresses while she was reading.
What a little naughty dog, so old, and still fighting with a duck for favor.
Her sleepiness was gone in an instant. The little duck stood up, puffed out its chest, and glared at Xin Xin with a fierce look.
“Quack ah!” You come up, you come up, the sofa is so wide, why did you have to push me away?
Xin Xin couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to her and just turned its fluffy back of the head to the duck.
Jian Xin, in a fit of anger, flapped her wings and flew over Xin Xin’s head, and under Yan Lu’s somewhat surprised gaze, she flew from her right side to her left side.
—She had used Xin Xin’s head as a stepping stone on the way.
Xin Xin shook its head, unconcerned, and just rested its head on Yan Lu’s thigh, squinted its eyes, and went back to sleep.
As expected of a dog, it sleeps so much in a day. It had disturbed the duck’s sleepiness, and it could still fall asleep immediately.
But what could she do? After all, it was Yan Lu’s furry child, so she had to give in a little.
Jian Xin let out a big yawn, jumped onto Yan Lu’s lap, and tilted her head up to read the book in her hand with Yan Lu.
Although it was out of context, and she didn’t know what she was reading for, since she had turned into a duck, there was nothing else to do besides sleeping, so she might as well read a book. She was idle anyway.
As if to accommodate the little duck on her lap, Yan Lu deliberately slowed down the speed of turning the pages.
Time passed by, second by second, and the sky outside gradually darkened. It was already after seven-thirty at night when Yan Lu closed the book.
Tonight’s Jian Xin was a little duck again, so she had to eat alone.
But before that, she had to make food for these two little ones.
Xin Xin had woken up a few minutes ago, wagging its tail and jumping off the sofa, and stood in the middle of the living room for a while.
This little dog was very good at acting cute. It didn’t make a fuss when it was hungry, just stood there and wagged its tail, looking at the kitchen for a while, and then at Yan Lu, clearly looking like it wanted to eat.
“Be good, Xin Xin. I’ll get you something to eat right now,” Yan Lu said, getting up and walking towards the kitchen. The little duck behind her followed, circling around her feet and quacking.
“Do you want to eat together?” Yan Lu looked down at her.
“Quack!” Yes!
It was one quack, not two—this was a new tacit understanding that had been cultivated during this period.
Yan Lu smiled and made dinner for the two little “Xin Xins” at home. One bowl was sent to the study under Xin Xin’s expectant gaze, and one bowl was left on the kitchen table.
The little duck could fly onto the dining table by itself, but to prevent this little one from not being able to brake and making a mess of the table, Yan Lu still chose to pick up Jian Xiaoya with her own hands.
A few minutes later, her noodles were also cooked, and one person and one duck were eating dinner face to face just like that.
This was really a magical experience. She could also eat with Yan Lu when she was a duck.
With this thought, Jian Xin finished the fruit and shrimp in her bowl.
After dinner, Yan Lu said that she had a contract to print downstairs. Jian Xin unhesitatingly chased after her and went out together.
The nearest copy shop was on the street more than five hundred meters away from the community.
The night was a dark blue, and the streetlights shone on the passing pedestrians. Yan Lu walked in front, and the little duck followed behind.
Yan Lu had printed the required contract and was slowly walking towards home.
As she walked, she saw the moon in the sky.
It was hanging high, round and bright.
“Look, the moon,” she said softly to Jian Xin. “It’s only so late, and it’s already climbed so high.”
Jian Xin stretched her neck and tried hard to look, but her view was blocked by the cars parked on the side of the road. She was so anxious that she looked for an angle everywhere, and finally, after taking a step back, she saw tonight’s moon.
It was indeed round and bright.
When was the last time she had seen such a round moon? Jian Xin had forgotten.
She had loved to look up at the sky when she was a child. There were more stars back then, especially in her hometown in the countryside. When you looked up, there were stars all over the sky, so beautiful.
Later, there were fewer stars in the sky, and besides the Mid-Autumn Festival, she didn’t like to look up at the sky.
And later, she had less time for herself. Even on the Mid-Autumn Festival, she might not stand by the window and look up at the sky.
It was a rare sight to see such a round moon.
The night was already deep, and there were still pedestrians on the road. Yan Lu was afraid that the little duck would be accidentally kicked by someone, so she bent down and picked her up into her arms.
They looked at the moon and stood by the roadside for a while. Finally, Yan Lu held the little duck high with one hand and took a few pictures of it against the moon.
Jian Xin was also very cooperative and struck several poses with this small body.
Finally, she stretched her neck to look at Yan Lu’s phone screen.
“Quack quack ahh ahh!” Let me see, let me see how it turned out!
Yan Lu leaned the phone screen a little closer to her and even helped her to switch photos.
In the photo, the duck’s head was right under the moon. The hazy moonlight and the warm yellow of the streetlights fell gently on its body. It was in deep thought with its head down, it was looking up at the moon, it was spreading its wings to fly—it was so photogenic that it didn’t look like an ordinary duck.
—It was so unusual.
A Call duck that could cooperate with its owner’s camera so well, you couldn’t find a second one even with a lantern!
If Yan Lu wasn’t already famous, she would have pulled Yan Lu to do a video self-media, the kind in the cute pet category.
The main selling point would be the setting of “this duck is so human-like, it’s almost like it’s become a spirit,” and then they could also hype up the CP of the duck and the dog. She could guess with her toes that the netizens would definitely like it!
At that time, she would cooperate with Yan Lu in the filming, and she guaranteed that people would exclaim after watching—this duck has really become a spirit!!!
Jian Xin was so happy thinking about it that she couldn’t help but laugh with a “quack-quack,” and she was patted on the head a few times by Yan Lu.
“What are you thinking about? Laughing so loudly.”
The little duck’s laughter came to an abrupt end.
After a brief silence, Jian Xin shrank her neck and leaned against Yan Lu’s arms.
Yan Lu stroked the small duck’s chest and smiled as she carried her all the way back home.
That night, Jian Xin did not wake up. She just stayed on Yan Lu’s lap in the form of a duck, in a daze for a long time, until she fell asleep again.
*
“Yan Xiaolu, I miss you.”
The voice message in her phone was played over and over again by Yan Lu.
She was wearing headphones, sitting on her bed, and the light-blocking curtains were protecting her small world.
Her roommates seemed to be talking about something, but she had no interest in listening.
It was probably either about a relationship or some other messy and meaningless gossip.
In previous years, during the National Day and Mid-Autumn Festival, Jian Xin would come to Yuecheng to see her.
This year, Jian Xin was busy with her band and didn’t have time to come, so they hadn’t seen each other since the start of school.
New Year’s Day was coming soon. Yan Lu looked at this voice message for a long time and cautiously replied with a message.
—Are you coming for New Year’s Day?
Jian Xin’s reply was very slow.
Ever since the band was formed, an instant reply had become a luxury.
Yan Lu was writing her update with an uneasy heart. She didn’t know how long she had waited, but she finally got a reply—unfortunately, it was not what she wanted.
“I’m so busy! I’m practicing like crazy every day!”
“By the way, our band has a new song out. We even performed it at a plaza a few days ago, and the video has over a hundred thousand views! Have you heard it?”
“We’ve also gotten a small commercial gig. We’ll probably be back a little later for the winter break this time, but we’ll definitely be home before the New Year…”
Yan Lu listened to the voice messages one by one, and after some thought, she replied, “I’ve heard the new song. It’s getting cold lately, so take care of yourself.”
“Yan Xiaolu, come and keep me company, it’s New Year’s Day.”
Once Jian Xin started to act cute, Yan Lu had no way to deal with her and immediately booked a plane ticket to the Capital.
Actually, her update tasks were not light recently, and a trip out would inevitably bring some pressure, but since Jian Xin had asked, she had no reason not to go.
Just treat it as smoothing things over. After all, she had just made Jian Xin angry a few days ago.
To say she had made her angry was actually just a small matter.
Jian Xin felt that her replies were inexplicably perfunctory lately. This was not the first time Jian Xin had said so, but for some reason, she was a little hot-tempered that day and couldn’t help but reason with her.
To be honest, Yan Lu felt a little aggrieved in her heart.
She thought, no matter how busy she was, as long as she was awake, she would look at and reply to everything that Jian Xin shared with her.
But everyone is different. She can’t be interested in everything that Jian Xin likes.
Is it not normal to reply a little more to the content she is interested in, and to reply with a sticker to the content she is not interested in?
She really didn’t know what it meant to not be perfunctory. Did she have to seriously write a review for every picture and every video that Jian Xin shared with her?
If she really needed to do that, she might be able to do it with a little effort, but the prerequisite was that Jian Xin also had to treat her messages so seriously, right?
Yan Lu swore that she didn’t want to argue, just wanted to reason with Jian Xin.
She couldn’t explain the reason, and she didn’t know where to start, but she just had a faint feeling that there seemed to be a lack of fairness between her and Jian Xin.
But the heart that wanted to reason had, in the end, angered the already not-so-happy Jian Xin.
She had originally wanted to update properly after reasoning with her, but she had ended up arguing with Jian Xin in writing for a whole afternoon, and she hadn’t even stopped for a moment to eat.
She had only wanted to change the current situation, but it seemed that she had accidentally messed everything up, so she didn’t dare to say anything more and just agreed with Jian Xin’s wishes.
But even this agreement was taken as a kind of perfunctory.
Actually… it wasn’t a misunderstanding, right?
She could have clearly hidden her likes, dislikes, and emotions a little better.
As long as she hid them a little better, she wouldn’t have had any dispute with Jian Xin.
In any case, let’s just go with Jian Xin’s wishes for now.
A trip to the Capital for New Year’s Day, and she really missed her too.
…
At five in the afternoon on the 29th, Yan Lu arrived in the Capital from Yuecheng.
To spend a few more days with Jian Xin, she had taken two days off in advance.
Knowing that Yan Lu was coming today, Jian Xin had been waiting at the arrival area for a long time, and she saw her in the crowded crowd at the first glance.
It had been a long time. Just a glance from a distance, and she could feel that Yan Lu seemed to have lost some weight.
Her small body was wrapped in a down jacket, and she was being squeezed by the crowd that was constantly moving outwards, so that she would disappear for a couple of seconds from time to time, which made her stand on her tiptoes and look around, waving her hands vigorously, deeply afraid of losing her in a moment of inattention.
Finally, Yan Lu followed the crowd and came to her side.
Jian Xin took the suitcase and held her cold fingers with a grin.
Yan Lu looked up and gazed at Jian Xin, who was leading her bit by bit through the crowd.
This person was always so strange to her. Without any words, it was as if with just a moment of gentleness, all the grievances and dissatisfaction in her heart could be dissipated in an instant.
After getting on the subway, Jian Xin got a seat and pushed Yan Lu onto it with a grin.
Yan Lu pulled her a little, motioning for her to sit on her lap.
“Aiya, that’s not very good…” Jian Xin said, but her body was very honest. Her eyes curved, and she sat down.
But she didn’t dare to really sit, afraid of hurting Yan Lu’s leg, so she used a little bit of strength in her lower body.
In this way, neither of them sat very comfortably.
Fortunately, after a few stops, the person beside them left, and Jian Xin quickly moved to the right, freeing both of their legs!
Yan Lu was holding her phone and typing her update, when she felt a weight on her shoulder. She turned her head and saw that Jian Xin was leaning on her shoulder, drowsy.
“Didn’t you sleep well last night?”
“Mmm…”
“Then you can sleep. I’ll call you when we get to the station.”
“Mmm!”
Actually, she didn’t need Yan Lu to remind her when they got to the station. Jian Xin was not sleeping very soundly, and she would open her tired eyes from time to time. When there were still two stops left, she had already sat up straight and was combing her hair in the mirror on her phone.
After getting out of the subway, Jian Xin opened her navigation and started to look for the homestay.
At this moment, the Capital was covered in a pure white snow.
It was very cold, and their tightly held fingers were both cold.
Suddenly, a very strange and ghostly wind blew over, so ghostly that it seemed like it could carry a person away. Jian Xin couldn’t help but shrink her neck and stuff Yan Lu’s hand into her own pocket.
“So cold!” Yan Lu also shrank her neck into her scarf.
“Yeah, it’s a different kind of cold from Nanjiang!” Jian Xin said. “This is a physical attack!”
It was indeed a physical attack. She had just opened her mouth to speak, and a large mouthful of cold wind had been poured into her throat.
Jian Xin closed her mouth and thought for a moment, then reached out to put on Yan Lu’s down jacket hood, and pulled her to turn around, and with their backs to the wind, they walked backward step by step.
“Is this a little better!”
“It seems so…”
Yan Lu pursed her lips, a hint of a smile in her eyes.
She thought, Jian Xin always had some seemingly unreliable but actually useful random methods…
The passersby cast surprised glances, but they just counted their slow steps and continued to walk backward until the sudden wind stopped, and then they smiled and turned back together.
A short while later, they returned to the warm homestay, put down their small suitcase, and sat on the sofa to think about what to eat for dinner tonight.
Once they started to think about this, Jian Xin wanted to take Yan Lu to some very high-end restaurants.
Actually, she didn’t think those restaurants were particularly delicious, but she just thought that they were places Yan Lu had never been to, and after she graduated, they probably wouldn’t have much of a chance to go again, so she wanted to take her to try them—it wasn’t about the price, but the experience.
But Yan Lu was scared when she heard the price. Although she didn’t refuse, the hand that was tightly clutching her sleeve had already proven everything.
“Then let’s find some Northeast cuisine? A home-style restaurant, not expensive!”
“Okay!”
And so, they found a nearby Northeast home-style restaurant and settled this dinner.
It was a restaurant in a small alley, with a small area, and only two sets of square tables and chairs.
There was only the owner in the shop, and not even a waiter. It looked very shabby—if it weren’t for the good rating on Dianping, they would never have walked in here.
Fortunately, this meal did not disappoint their expectations. The owner’s cooking was very good, and the two of them, who loved spicy food, were very satisfied with a table full of not-so-spicy Northeast cuisine.
Before they left, Jian Xin felt that the sweet and sour pork in this restaurant was really delicious, so she ordered another portion and took it back to the homestay.
The sky outside gradually darkened, and the streetlights all lit up.
The nights in the Capital were much brighter than in Nanjiang. Jian Xin said that it was because the pace of life here was faster than in Nanjiang, and most people were busy living, and late at night did not mean that they could rest.
So the nights here were always brightly lit.
This bright light illuminated the ubiquitous snow into a pale white.
Nanjiang and Yuecheng were both in the south, and you could barely see snow all winter. Occasionally, when a thin layer could accumulate, it could be called a “heavy snow.”
Yan Lu was very curious about the snow outside.
She lay by the closed window, looking out thoughtfully.
Jian Xin rested her chin on her left shoulder, nuzzling her slightly cool earlobe, and asked softly, “Want to go out and play?”
“Ah?”
“The snow, I saw you looking at the snow all the way.”
“I do want to play a little, but…” But it’s so cold outside. If I play with snow, my hands will freeze, right?
“Then let’s go!” Jian Xin said with a smile, hooking Yan Lu’s little finger.
Besides her laptop, she had also brought a rather large backpack.
She still remembered that Yan Lu liked snow.
One winter, a snow that could accumulate had fallen in Nanjiang—not much, just a thin layer.
Because the snow was too thin, the snow on the ground, on the stairs, and on the flower beds was all dirty when you dug it up.
To gather more clean snow, Yan Lu had scraped it off various flower leaves, and in the end, she had gathered a small ball, and had made a small snowman that was not even as big as her palm. She had placed it on the dorm’s balcony, and the next day, it had melted out of shape.
Looking at the melted snowman, Yan Lu had said softly, “I really want to go to the north to play with snow. I could definitely make a lot of snowmen like this…”
Yan Lu wanted to go to the north to play with snow, and she wanted to make a lot of little snowmen. Jian Xin had always remembered.
She took out a yellow thing from her backpack, excitedly put on her jacket, and called Yan Lu to go downstairs with her.
The snow on the ground had been swept away, but the snow on the flower beds was still very thick.
“Want to make a snowman? A lot of little snowmen!”
“So cold…” Yan Lu said, looking at the ubiquitous snow, a little tempted, but she couldn’t help but shrink back.
If I have to make a lot of little snowmen, won’t my hands get frostbite tomorrow?
Jian Xin: “If you’re not going to make them, then I’ll start!”
Yan Lu: “Huh?”
“I’ll show you a magic trick, you watch!” Jian Xin said, taking out the yellow thing in her hand and hopping to the side of the flower bed.
She used the little gadget to scoop up a pile of snow, pressed it tight, and then released it—the scooped snow had turned into a palm-sized snow duck.
Jian Xin turned to look at Yan Lu with a smile. “Look, isn’t it cute!”
Yan Lu came closer to take a look, and in that one glance, Jian Xin had already made a lot of little ducks along the flower bed.
As she was making them, she suddenly stopped and stuffed the mold into Yan Lu’s hand.
“Try it, you try it too!”
Yan Lu was taken aback for a moment, and she also tried it.
The first time, she didn’t use enough force, and the little duck fell apart.
Under Jian Xin’s guidance, she tried a couple more times, and she instantly became skilled. She made a circle of little ducks around the flower bed.
Finally, feeling that it was not enough, she hopped to another flower bed and continued to make them.
The snow on the flower beds had all turned into little ducks, and they went up a stone step and turned all the snow on the handrail into one little duck after another.
Jian Xin followed behind Yan Lu, taking pictures of the little ducks along the way with her phone.
The wind was blowing so hard, but they seemed to be unaware of it, just childishly wanting to leave their mark on this world.
Even though they knew that when the snow melted, nothing would be left, they were still tireless.
